Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
My Secret
Alrighty! My friends have finally LOST IT!!! I’m no longer the only lunatic out there … hehe.
So, here’s the story. It all began when one of them read this book “the secret” … yeah, all that global propaganda about this phenomenon book has finally reached her, she who hardly reads anything beside her work reports! Personally, I haven’t read the book … but I’ve been witness to the result of reading it: here’s my friend, started this habit of writing a diary … but not just any diary… it’s a diary of her life with “Ahmed” … who? … that’s her future love! So every day she writes down wut they did together that day … like he took her on a boat cruise, or they went out for dinner today .. etc. She’s totally created a virtual life with a virtual lover whose name is freakin “Ahmed”!!! And they call me weirdo!?
Second friend, following the example of the first one, has decided that she’ll be living in a villa, and have a Philippine servant who brings her Nescafe in bed … not only this, she also called the poor servant “Sonita”!!!!
Did I say I didn’t read the book? Well, forget that, coz between the last paragraph and this one I’ve just watched the movie based on the book. Well the secret is … listen to this … the “Law of Attraction”! The theory says:
• Thoughts are magnetic, and thoughts have a frequency. As you think thoughts, they are sent out into the Universe, and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency. Everything sent out returns to the source—you.
• You are like a human transmission tower, transmitting a frequency with your thoughts. If you want to change anything in your life, change the frequency by changing your thoughts.
• Your current thoughts are creating your future life. What you think about the most or focus on the most will appear as your life. So what the book suggests, and wut these girls applied, is to keep all your focus on your dream, live it every second of your life.
To tell you the truth, at first all I could think of is: Dude! R these girls desperate or wut?!!I mean, c’mon!! But then I looked at myself and there I was … my life is a series of endless objectives and absolutely no goal! Do I need to mention the difference between the goal and the objective? … I want to be visit Italy in April, I started saving money and expected to have enough money by April for the trip, once I step on the Italian land, that objective is gone, and I start thinking of the one that’ll follow. Then wut? 20 years from now wut will I be looking back at? A series of finished and unfinished objectives that are completely unrelated and entirely pointless! There’s no goal, and since there’s no goal, there’s no plan, and since no plan, then no point in going on. Imagine urself lost in the desert .. you panic, y? because you’re surrounded by this vast area of endless sand and you cannot see one single path that if you follow will get you somewhere, just anywhere! This is exactly a life without a goal … of course if you keep walking in any direction for long enough – assuming you have isolated the factors of hunger, thirst and potential dangers - you’ll definitely reach smwhere at a certain point. But the question then will be: was this the place I wanted to reach? May be I’ll end up in Marina or end up in Aswan … the nile or the sea? Salty water or pure water? For sure these options are entirely different and for sure you have to have a saying in which you prefer!
So anyways, I decided to dream, and to figure every detail and visualize it as if this is my current life. So here it is … my life …
I’m a travel reporter for a magazine like the national geographic. I travel for weeks and weeks and go through loads of adventure with my husband who is a free-lance photographer working for the same magazine, before we finally go back to our small house right on the mediteranean. Surrounded by a fence of trees and overlooking the sea, with our lovely daughter whose name is “Malika” and whom I’m going to home-school because I don’t believe in educational systems at least in my home country. When we are home, we all wake up together for our early exercise on the beach … oh yeah, I’ve finally shed off those extra pounds I’ve been dragging around for years and now I’m totally in shape and intend to keep it that way ;) Next, I spend the mornings writing and searching in history and geography and sociology books, while my hubby is in his workshop at the end of the house busy developing and sorting his photos and caring for his tools.Then comes my favorite time of the day and that’s when I’m cooking in the kitchen and Malika is helping me with her little hands and her dad comes in, hugs me from behind, plants a kiss on my cheek, goes to change his cloths before he comes and joins us in setting the table.At night we all lie on the big hammock on the beach, star gazing and sharing stories.
Next Post - hopefully - I'll discuss more about the book itself. See you then ;)
Analyzed by Babyblue at 11:00 AM 10 comments
Saturday, June 21, 2008
ALI
It was almost midnight when i was dropping off a friend of mine infront of el nozha street just few meters away from Abbas el Akkad and while we were getting some stuff from the trunk we were approched by this little boy who must have been no more than 7 years old selling lemons (which is practically equivalent to begging and it's like a mutual consent between him and the passer-bys that its just another form of begging ... C'mon who is suddnly in urgent need for buying lemons or mint or any of the weird stuff they walk around with in the streets while heading to work or even back home? )
Usually i'm too reluctant to give beggers anything, specially when they r such young kids coz i believe that would mean that i'm implicitly consenting to child abuse .. these parents "RECRUIT" their children in such demeaning jobs - if we may call this a job - instead of sending them to school or giving them the least of care they deserve .. and yet sometimes i think, well, probably if they do go to school and the parents lose this source of income then they'd all die of hunger ... then again i think: well, no one really dies of hunger in the streets of Cairo, i challenge you to find me one begger ... just ONE ...who is even remotely skinny... some of them are even pretty chubby! Then i remember the prophet's saying: "Do not turn away those who ask (you for something)" and i think to myself: well, wut difference would one pound make to you you stingy B****! ... then again thinking about child abuse and God only knows wut these children do with the money or even worse: what their parents and street gangs do with it and with the child himself! I've always been in a delimma about that.
So, back to Ali ... that's the little lemon-boy's name ... reluctant as i am to give beggers, my friend- who is a foreigner btw- wasn't apparently ... and she attempted to give him smthg. - which i found really strange, coz feorigners are usually even more reluctant to do so! She gave him some money and the boy - hearing our english conversation- said: "one pound" in english .. she smiled and said to him: "yes, one pound" ... so i said laughing:"where did u learn this 'one pound' from?" ... he answered: "geneh ya3ni one pound, etnen geneh ya3ny etnen pound, talata geneh ya3ny talata pound" ... LOL ... tha was so cute, and he said it in such a cute way with a glimpse of shyness in his eyes ... apparently our laughters gave him more courage so when i was ready to get back into the car he approached me again smiling and asked me "what does 'khamsa geneh' mean?" ... I answered him: "Five" ... he repeated it and we both were turning away to leave when he turnd back to me again and pointed to my friend and asked: "where is she from?" ... I replied: "Germany" ... though i doubt he knew where that is, but he looked at me in a very interested manner and asked again: "Does she have some of the "Reyals" they have back in their country?" ... LOL ... Reyals? ... Damn the gulf reputation dominating the Egyptian street! ... i said: "No, its not reyals they use, its called a Euro" ... he repeated like its the first time he hears the word, so i said: "it's like the dollar, you know the american dollar?" ... not quite sure if he did he nodded anyways then said: "Then ask her if she has some of it, i can buy it" ... Me: "Are you sure u have enough money for that?" .. He (in an assertive manner): "yes, How much is it?" ... Me: "Eight pounds" ... so he puts his hand in his pocket feeling the money there and without taking it out says: "Could be enough" ... Meanwhile, i was translating every word so my friend started looking up some currency in her bag then finally came up with a note of five Sterling Pounds - no they don't use that in Germany, she was living in UK before Egypt u smart reader :P - I alamost whistled holding that! ... five Sterling Pounds is a lot of money actually ... i handed it to him, he looked at it closely with his big hazel eyes and asked what it was ... i told him it's the currency the British use ... he asked again "how much is it worth?" ... i said "around 50 Egyptian Pounds" ... he looked at me in disbelief and put out his hands with it back to me again muttering in a shy tone "No, i can't afford that" ... I was stunned by his reaction actually ... can u believe he really did that? simply turned down a note of five Sterling Pounds? ... i told him "No, keep it, she's giving it to you, but keep it safe and take care no one steals it from you, that's a real lot of money!" ... he still looked at me in total disbelief and asked again "C'mon, how much is it really?" ... the poor boy! ... Me: "I'm not kidding you, that's over fifty EGP" ... A smile shined on his face - it was there all the time actually - showing uneven but very white beautifull teeth and asked: "Can i have it changed?" ... i said "Yeah, from any exchange office, do u know where/what they are?" ... he pointed out at a sign far across the street and said "yes, there's one over there, i see sudanese ppl go there with piles of money" then he went on "Is it true - ya madame :)) - that our pound was worth hundred times more than 'THEIR' pound many years back?" ... "well son, could be ... but that must've been a REALLY long time ago ...time that neither you nor I have been around early enough to witness!" ... he said with his adorable smile: "May be it will be again some day!"
Yeah! who knows! :)
Analyzed by Babyblue at 2:46 AM 9 comments
Thursday, May 15, 2008
حزام أمان
كرسى عربية
Analyzed by Babyblue at 10:33 AM 2 comments
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
إنزواء
لماذا يكون مصير جميع العلاقات الى الفناء؟
ربما تكون كلمة "فناء" شديدة بعض الشىء
ربما هو الانزواء؟ حين تنزوى العلاقات الواحدة تلو الأخرى فى أركان مظلمة على جانبى حياتك؟
الأصدقاء يأتون ويرحلون
الحب ينمو ويذوى
حتى الأهل يتباعدون ويصيرون مجرد حقيقة أخرى من حقائق الحياة لا نتوقف أمامها كثيراً بل واحياناً نتحاشاها
*************
ومفيش حكاية بتستمر زى ما بدأت ليه على طول؟
Analyzed by Babyblue at 5:53 AM 2 comments
Friday, May 09, 2008
يومية من باقى اليوميات
صحيت النهاردة فى حالة غريبة ... عمرك صحيت من النوم حاسس ان لو حد قالك بس صباح الخير يبقى قليل ان ما لطشته قلمين؟
احساس بالخنقة من كل البشر بما فيهم أنا
دخلت المكتب وكان فيه واحدة زميلتى واقفة على بعد ييجى 100 متر منى لكن صوتها بياكل فى أعصابى وهى بتحكى قصة الفيلم بتاع ال ام بى سى تو ليلة امبارح
كنت حاسة انها لو مسكتتش حالا هقوم أصور قتيل فى المكتب انهاردة
احساس قمىء
**********
الأكل غلى؟ وماله
العيش مش لاقينه؟ وماله
البنزين غلى؟ وماله
الأكل غلى تانى؟ وماله
اللى قال ان الثورة تولد من رحم الأحزان ماكانش مصرى
**********
أشعر انى خلية تحتضر فى جسد ميت
Analyzed by Babyblue at 7:18 AM 3 comments
Friday, April 11, 2008
Filter
Analyzed by Babyblue at 2:24 PM 3 comments
Thursday, April 03, 2008
فى جنينة الأسماك
الخوف تيمة تسيطر على الفيلم بكل شخصياته ... تحسها قى علاقات كل شخصية باللى حواليها ومواقفها من الأحداث اللى بتحصل قدامها وليها ... ايه اسباب الخوف ده؟ الفيلم ما قدمش أسباب واضحة ...فكل شخصية فى الفيلم ليها ماضى مجهول ... وحاضرهم مختلف تمام الاختلاف عن بعضهم البعض ... لكن
كلهم بيجتمعوا على شىء واحد ... كلهم خايفين ... ولانهم مش عارفين يواجهوا خوفهم ... فهم بيتداروا منه وراء أقنعة ... وهى وان اختلفت ما بين مكياج " ليلى" وميكروفون برنامجها الاذاعى وبين سيارة "يوسف" اللى بيبات فيها ... أو كلام "مارجريت" عن جيرانها واحساسها الزائف بالأمان وسط شارعها وعمارتها ... الى آخر النماذج اللى قدمها الفيلم ... فهى كلها تحقق وظيفة واحدة ... هى محاولة يائسة للاختباء من عيون الناس ... ومن الخوف
والقناع اللى بنلبسه ده ... بيدارينا عن الناس وللا بيدارينا عن نفسنا؟
المؤلف اختار مهنة البطلة بذكاء شديد ... برنامج أسرار الليل بيعبر ببساطة وتلقائية عن حاجة كل انسان انه يتدارى فى سماعة تليفون و"يفضفض" شوية لحد لا يعرفه ولا شايفه ... خوف برضو ... الحاجز الوهمى عبر التليفون بيدى الانسان احساس انه متغطى حتى لو عرى نفسه وكشف كل اسراره حتة حتة
آدم وحواء متكسفوش انهم من غير هدوم غير لما فهموا انهم شايفين بعض وهم عرايا ... ما هم كانوا شايفين بعض طول الوقت ... لكنهم ماكانوش عارفين انهم كده مش متغطيين
Analyzed by Babyblue at 11:26 AM 8 comments
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
TAGGGGGGGGG
Isn't it always interesting to read TAGs? ... satisfying that most basic of human desires: CURIOSITY!!! y else would smone spend at least 5 min just listening to smone jabbering bout him/herself?
Man, one must really be BORED to death to stoop that low :PP
Anyways, i've always been TAG reader, now i've been Tagged by Charafantah, so it's time to be a TAG writer ... Cool!
The Rules
- Post 10 random things about yourself
- Choose 5 people to tag and a reason you chose each person
- Leave them each a comment directing them to your blog so they know they are it
- You can’t tag the person who tagged you (you’ll have to make new friends)
- As a courtesy to the person who tagged you, please let them know when you have posted so they can have the sheer delight and extra work load of reading your answers)
The TAG
- I have a lot of DARK secrets that burdens me and want to reveal them to anyone, but I can’t. (Sorry ya Charafantah, that was too easy not to copy :P)
- I ADORE gebna Istanbully and it's a MUST with any cup of tea!
- I have zilch self confidence and it keeps me away from achieving lots of stuff that i've great potential for (that last part is a bit too confident, isn't it? :P)
- I HATE Conference calls and words just fly over my head (i'm in one right now!! :( )
- I have a little MONK inside me ... when i walk on floor tiles, i have to follow the patterns of colors of shapes, i simply cannot stand any squeaking sounds or ppl "beytar2a3o" sawabe3hom ... it gets me jumping all over the place, i don't like to touch the buttons in the elevator or open the doors in public places and use my elbow or my key chain instead!
- When i'm depressed i tend to eat, and when i'm on diet i get depressed ... figure that out!
- I cannot cook - i mean not even a carrot! - but always dream of having my own place so that i can enjoy some quality time alone in the kitchen inventing all sorts of dishes ... i actually enjoy "imaging" the stuff i would create ... if i had choosen a different path in life, i'd have studied cooking!
- I have hidden wants that i cannot stop fantacising about: riding a scooter to work (like J.D in Scrubs), carrying a backpack and hiking the world, having my own appartment in one of the old areas in town where i'll have birds in the balcony, plants all over the place, a fish acquarium, home theatre system playing lounge music from mystic places all around the flat ... and i'd spend the whole day between caring for these things, household, reading, writing and facebook ... oh yeah, there was definitely facebook in that dream! hehe
- I cannot face tragidies (specially when its my own) and tend to laugh them away which makes me look like a heartless B**** most of the time.
- I cannot sleep unless everyone else is asleep at home ... and DEFINITLY cannot share rooms!
Only Four people to tag:
Balaha Sousou , Sameh , Yomika , wut's in the middle ... enough keda :)
Analyzed by Babyblue at 8:27 AM 1 comments
Thursday, March 27, 2008
! ... أتخمدوا
"امبارح وأنا واقفة فى المول مع صحابى لقيت واحدة جاية ناحيتى بثقة وبتقوللى "ازيك يا ...؟
فى الجزء من الثانية اللى فصلت بين سؤالها وبين ال"يااه" الى طلعت منى دى حسيت انى رجعت فى الزمن بفلاش باك زى الأفلام الأمريكانى اللى بتكون البطلة فيها واقفة ثابتة وكل الأشياء حواليها بتتغير فى "فرايمز" أو إطارات زمنية ماشية باتجاه عكسى سريع جداً لكن واضح لحد ما يتوقف كل شىء فجأة وبحدة وتلاقى – البطلة – نفسها واقفة فى وسط حدث معين فى زمن معين فى الماضى وبتعيشه من أول وجديد
المرة دى كنت أنا البطلة ... والزمن كان عشر سنين كاملة فاتوا ... تحديداً فى ليلة شتا فى أولى ثانوى ... وأنا قاعدة فى دايرة كبيرة مع الشلة كلها مربعين على مجموعة من السراير المتلاصقة فى عنبر نوم كبير فى دير المدرسة ببورسعيد ... وكانت هى – صاحبتى دى – قاعدة مربعة قدامى فى بيجامتها الخضراء وعلى راسها طاقية نوبى ملونة بتاعتى – لأنى كنت لسه جاية من رحلة فى أسوان – وحاطة كفيها الاثنين مفتوحين ومفرودين على كف البنت اللى جنبها من اليمين والشمال عشان كنا بنلعب "آى" ... عارفينها؟ كل واحدة تضرب اللى جنبها على كفها جامد ولو اللى اتضربت قالت "آى" تطلع برة اللعبة!
لسة سامعة فى ودانى صوت الضحك والصريخ واحنا بنجرى ورا بعض فى العنبر وخرجنا على التراس الواسع علقنا البنت الشقية المجنونة اللى بقت "ماما" من كام اسبوع من كمامها بالمشابك على حبل غسيل بعرض التراس
وشايفة مدرسة المواد الاجتماعية وهى واقفة على باب العنبر – عنبر المجانين كان مش عنبر نوم ابداً فى
وفجأة البنت اللى جنبى تتنفض من رقدتها وتقوم تبص قدامها فى الضلمة وتشيل سماعات الووكمان من
والصبح خرجنا كلنا بربطة المعلم ... ييجى 25 بنت ... طلعنا ع الشارع الرئيسى واحنا بنعدى الشارع قررنا نقف نتصور ... 25 بنت بعرض الشارع كله ... وقفنا العربيات ومنعنا المرور واديناهم ضهرنا ووقفنا نتصور ... الكاميرا الكوداك القديمة بتاعتى ... بكرهها ... دايماً بتحرق على الأقل 5 صور من ال30 صورة ... بقعد أدعى مع كل صورة حلوة باخدها انها متكونش من ال5 صور اللى هيتحرقوا! وأروح استلم الصور من معمل تحميض "كادو" اللى جنب المدرسة وكأنى رايحة اجيب نتيجة امتحان كنت داخلاه بمبدأ "يا صابت يا خابت"! يا ترى هنقص كام صورة المرة دى؟
و 4 – 5 حناطير اتوزعنا عليهم بالليل عند قرية النورس وملينا شوارع بورسعيد غنا وضحك وتهريج ... جبنا الشوكولاتة من سوبر ماركت الفار ... التوبليرون والمارس والليون والدوبلو ... فى مصر آخرتا كان كادبورى ومورو ... والله يرحم الكورونا ... ورجعنا امبارح الدير نتسحب بعد ما اتأخرنا عن "الكيرفيو" اللى كان الساعة 9 ... دلوقتى 10:30 ... الحمد لله المدرسات كانوا اتأخروا هما كمان
والرقص والغنا طول الطريق فى الأتوبيس لحد ما وصلنا القاهرة ... وأهالينا اللى مستنينا فى البرد فى
مصدومة البطلة! ... مصدومة أنا! ... بسأل نفسى ... يا ترى أنا كمان بقيت كده وللا ايه؟ أمال أنا ليه حاسة أنى لسة طفلة فى أولى ثانوى عليزة ألعب "آى" وأوقف الشارع كله عشان أتصور وأغنى بصوت عالى وأنا راكبة حنطور واجرى أنا واصحابى ورا بعض لحد ما ييجى حد يقولنا "اتخمدوا بقى" ؟
وللا احنا شكلنا "اتخمدنا" فعلاً ؟ ... فى اللغة "خمدت النار" يعنى اطفت ... اطفينا؟
!أنا مش عايزة اطفى! ... عايزة أولع تانى ... هه بقى! ... مليش دعوة
Analyzed by Babyblue at 11:01 AM 4 comments