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The Yacoubian Building ... The Filthy Image - or is it the True one - of our society

And finally i went to Yacoubian Building, the celebrated movie based on a famous novel carrying the same name ... this is the Da Vinci Code big hit equivalent in the egyptian media. Well ... it's no secret that the egyptian media industry is more westernized - inside out - than any other thing in our society ... but this movie has made one big leap in that area by breaking one of the biggest taboos in the egyptian/arabic society: homosexuality.
I don't remember i ever heard the term itself "homosexual" except few years ago, and mainly from american movies, needless to say "imagining" that these ppl existed on earth! Even religious speech about the people of Lut, comes with more hinting and concealed words than using the word "homosexual" ... even when used in casual writings, the word "homosexuality" is replaced with "the doing of the people of Lut" ...
Ok, one might think that i'm for putting things in their right terms and sex-education and bla bla bla ... i do believe that "adab" in speach by using concealed words is an attribute of a healthy human being, coz by the time, using more open and plain words makes it sorta "usual" to you ... ACCEPTANCE if you know wut i mean ... let's see .. if you tell a kid "the doing of the ppl of Lut" ... he's probably gonna automatically recall the stories of wut happened to these ppl and their condemenation by God ... wutever ur religion is ... that should automatically give the message of resentment to his subconcious towards the whole issue ... but using the word "homosexual" doesn't really refer to anything ... moreover, the suffix "sexual" might be appealing to the subconcious, afterall "sexual" desire is a part of every human being .. and by the time, the term gets more and more accepted. Rest my case? ... i'll talk more about "subliminal messages" laterz coz i've been told about this a while ago and currently checking some articles about it.
Ok ... moving back to the movie ... the Yacoubian Building literally comprises a wonderful mixture of some of the weirdst SCUM of the earth ...
1. a drunk womanizer who still hangs on to his family name and his inherited "pacha" title ... in one scene he says ... "Allah, why don't you give me a discount? 20% ... 50% ... 100% ... you are merciful" ... i really dunno wuts the purpose of this scene ... show us that every scum does know God? so? was this "repentance" ? and then another hour of the movie drinking and sleeping with his office girl? DUH!
2. a homesexual journal director who goes hunting men in the street ... the gravity of this character is that it is played with such a professionalism that you'd actually LIKE it ... all the ppl were laughing all the time in the cinema .. at his movements, the way he speaks ... yeah, he is a freak of nature to most ppl, but subconciously you are "accepting him"... you "like" him .. while the normal reaction of a balanced human should be resentment!! He is shown in a late scene as a victim ... his mother was sleeping with another man and he found no one to turn to but the nubian servant who raped him when he was only a child ... so, his homosexuality is all projected on a miserable childhood! and he comes up with a funny theory trying to justify his sin ... "you know wut is surely a sin? adultury ... a man sleeping with a woman outside marriage is "haram" ... and this is to avoid confusion is relativness etc. ... but wut about men? DUH! men doesn't get pregnant!" ... ok .. that scene was HILARIOUS!! ppl around me were rolling on the floor ... while actually it is a misery ... ! I believe this is one of the most dangerous effects of this movie ... while all ppl are talking about is how it is a break of the taboo, they never realize the consequences of giving such a message out ... the movie just leaves you to your own thoughts, it does not show any reactions regarding this character ... in fact, there's one scene when the Pacha meets the gay man on the stairs, coming home with his precious catch - the policeman he picked from the street - and the pacha just makes some funny comments hinting at his homosexuality ... another face of an "acceptance" message.
3. a pretending-to-be religious man who owns a series of stores and seeks to enter the parliment through bribery and finally revealed to be drug-dealing (note that all the movie he was on the path of "Allah said and his messenger said" )
4. the christian tailor (who also swears with the "living christ" all the movie) who persuades his young neighbour who works in a clothes store to get the owner of the store to buy some of his tailored clothes by seducing him ... and later tries to persuade her to make the pacha sign a partnership contract after seducing him and making him drunk so that he, the tailor, could take over the flat after the pacha's death.
5. the Pacha's sister who is always insulting him and hitting him for being the drunk womanizer he is, and finally kicks him out of the house, raises a law suit against him to rob him off his money, office .. etc .. and finally breaks into his office with a bunch of police officers accusing him of adultry.
The only two positive characters that are worth noting are:
6. Taha, the son of the building keeper who fails to join the police academy despite his high grades, only for the sole reason of being the son of a building keeper ... he then joins another faculty, where he gets engaged with an islamic activity group, unshaves his beard, wears a white gilbab ... the typical stereotype of the "islamic terrorist" despite the fact that the movie never shows any signs of terrorism intentions except may be the military camp they had ... the movie doesn't even expose any sign of "corrupted" thoughts ... that is if the author doesn't consider wut the imam said in his soromon of the government that encourages tourism by providing alcohols and dancers - which is very true btw - as "corrupted" thoughts!! ... anyways, taha gets arrested by national security during a demonstration, he gets tortured and sexually abused and gets out determined on taking revenge from the officer who ordered his torture ... and he does ... only to end up with a scene where he and his abuser are lying dead side by side covered with blood ... was taha a victim? he sure was ... but the last scene gives you the impression that they were both wrong ... the islamist and the abuser!!
7. the poor young girl, taha's fiance, who is sexually harrassed by every employer she works for ... in one of the early scenes, her mother summarizes how she'll end up when she said "everyone is free to do wutever he wants with his clothes, the important thing is that you keep your clothes on" ... and later confirmed by her cousin "preserve yourself without annoying anyone" .. in another never to be put better sentence describing how such a girl, and we have millions of them, lives: "you are pretty? there are many of you ... you have a diploma? diplomas are hanged on every wall" ... the most brutal truth that can hit you about your society ... a society that considers you as a scumbag as long as you are poor ... if you are a girl then you are used as a sex object ... for 10 pounds ... you r a human trash!

Ok ... the movie is highly depressing ... when you think about it as a highly realistic microscopic "photo" of the society, you'll only get frustrated .. and probably kneel in gratefulness to Allah that you have enough money to sit on the other side of a PC reading this, and surely not in Yacoubian Building!

No News WAS Good News ;-)

Hmm ... been so loooooong since i last blogged ...
Would that be because ... mmm ... I GOT ENGAGED??

The Old Man & The Boy

The old man took his seat
Under one lonely tree;
He tiredly stretched his feet,
And silently gazed at me.

I drew nearer to his place..
“Come here boy, don’t be afraid,
You’re still young, with a fair face
That knows nothing of life” he said

And what is life, sir?”Said I.
The old man laughed a lot.
And wandering into the sky
He said: how silly a question you got!

Life, son, is a wide sea
If you know how to sail.
Either fearless you be
Or forever you shall fail.

Life is a stage, on which people act;
Each has a different role..
Some are faked and some are fact;
And at the end all the masks will fall.

I asked:” how was it, the time
You were born, master?”
Time, boy, goes without reason or rhyme
There’re ages of gloom & ones of luster

And time is nothing but steam,
Yesterday is today’s memory,
Tomorrow is today’s dream…
And that too, will soon be history.

I was born in an age of true sight;
Dark was the night, on our days sun rised
Wrong was wrong and right was right,
But as I grew older, I realized…

That things were no longer that plain;
There were days darker than night
When moments of pleasure hid hours of pain;
Yet there were nights that shined bright.

“And what is pain?” I said, wandering.
It is something you must feel
When you reach your understanding,
When you know the difference between fancy & real.

Then I said:” speak to me of self-knowledge!”
That’s what is hidden in your thought,
But with your tongue it does challenge.
That, in words, it can’t be brought

“But what about words, sir?”
He said: there are people who are talking’
To avoid loneliness they cannot bear,
Others don’t, of fear their self-secrecy be broken!

And there are those who reveal a truth
Without understanding what it holds;
And there are others who enclose
That truth, but they tell it not in words.

“Then what is truth? I pray you say “
It’s the monsters raised by your own mind;
These are the price of thinking that you pay,
And it’s the one thing you can never find.

“But if I work, even if I strive…?”
Nay, son. Work is life, it’s life’s love,
And by work you hold secrets of life;
But truth is a mirage that can only bluff!

“Life’s love!?, how is love, sir?”
Love ways, boy, are hard and steep;
When it beckons, follow it, and be aware,
Seek for it, climb high and dive deep.

Love may hurt and grind you,
So that you may know secrets of your heart;
But in those things that you knew
You become a fragment of life’s heart.

Your talk is sweet, my dear friend.”
Smiling he said: in the dew of little things
The heart finds it’s morning & is refreshed;
And that’s what life with a friend brings.

“When your friend tells what’s in his mind,
Fear not to say “no”, nor do you withhold the “yes”
And when he is silent, search for what’s behind
And listen to what his heart says.

Grieve not if your friend parts from you,
For that which you love most in him
Clearer in his absence it may grow,
And his faults are not as bad as they seem.

“ Why are we happy, then we get sad?”
They are both one, joy is your sorrow,
Just when it is bare and unmasked…
When one comes, remember that the other’ll follow.

And when memories are all you have
Tears shall be all you get
For you may forget who shared your laugh,
But never the one with whom you’ve wept.

“And what are memories?” I said.
They are sealed records of our past;
Of words we said or deeds we made.
So that the virtues of life would last.

“ Then tell me what is virtue?”
Virtue is everything good in all;
But good is something really vague,
It’s all you find when you reach your soul.

“ And how do you see beauty?”
It is a song one hears,
And an image he can see,
Though he closes his eyes & shuts his ears.

And beauty is what you feel inside
It’s what your heart beats for,
And if this gift is exiled
You shall be living no more.

“ How can this happen when I’m free,for god’s sake?”
Nay, freedom is life’s taste, my dear
Freedom is something you do make
When you break your extreme fear.

When your shadows are no longer there,
Then, light of freedom will rise on your face
And you shall come out of your lair
And then, you have keys of the space.

“Tell me more of your knowledge!” I told him.
Oh! You can never wear another man’s vision gown
And a wise man gives you not keys of his wisdom,
But leads you to ones of your own.

And I am old, but I’m still
This life’s ignorant child
Lots of dreams I have to fulfill,
And many answers I have to find.

I’ve been climbing this knowledge mountain
Trying to reach it’s misty summit
But, neither the "reason" did I gain,
Nor the "wisdom soul" had I met.

Sometimes the mists would go,
When some drops of rain would fall
Then, I’d behold the top as it glows
And the giant of desire in me’d call.

I would wish that the vision
Would take me on it’s wings,
And ease the thirst of my passion
And that glitter to my heart it brings.

I was like Prometheus – the myth –
Striving to find the light,
Wishing to get its bless,
And to move darkness from his sight.

Indeed he did reach his aim;
And for that, he got his punishment.
And I was fearless to end up the same,
Yet, I didn’t make my own achievement.

And man has nothing but to carry on,
To struggle against this reality;
And to fear not being alone,
Such belief is what gave life eternity.

And in this, you should follow my every word,
For the effort of searching is too much for me to exert;
And soon, boy, I shall leave this world
And gone will be all I’ve gained or learnt.

But it’s enough for me that I
Gave you the nectar of my humble knowledge,
That will show you the way after I die,
And provide you with persistence and courage.

And as death will come for sure,
So shall you leave one day, too
But not till you add to what I gave you before,
And hand it to the one who’ll continue after you.

For death is just the beginning, not the end;
The start of another blooming life.
And only the matter is to be dead,
But the soul shall ever be alive.

Free in the ether it wanders
Blessing those who understand the value of it
The gift of comfort to them it renders,
And their hearts shall it lit.

“I do understand what you mean,
but what if I lost my aspect ?”
you should go to where you once did begin ,
and try again ,taking faults into respect .

That was all you had to know, son.
Now, take your way into the world;
In your heart you’ve got the heat of the sun
And secrets of life your soul does fold.

Let life not trick you, boy
And always have faith in you.
Live it not with sorrow, but with joy;
And cry not over what time once blew.

You have all the years ahead
To achieve what I couldn’t gain;
And if the path one day does bend,
Be sure it will straighten again.

Someday, behind that far cloud,
You’ll come, and I’ll open the door;
And you’ll tell me what you’ve found
And I shall learn from you more.

Then, the old man raised from his lie,
And the last of him I saw
Was a smile with a sigh ‘
And a wave, and “Adieu!”

- THE END -



BAbyblue, 21 MAY 1999

Ahmed

Yesterday i came across quite a very interesting story on one of the blogs http://lovereallywins.blogspot.com/2006/04/ahmed.html

I copy:

I sold my car yesterday to a Russian guy named Mehei. I really liked Mehei, especially his scraggly goatee. A few days ago, Mehei came and checked out my car for the first time, liked it, and made a provisional offer, but he wanted to get it checked out by a mechanic before he agreed on a final purchase price. I told Mehei that if other people called in the meantime, I would show them the car, but if they made an offer, I would call him and give him first right of refusal. I felt a little slick doing this, but hey, I needed to get as much money as I could get from my car.
The next day, a guy by the name of Ahmed called me, and we agreed on a time that he would come to see my car. He drove it, and really liked it. I told him that there was another offer on the table, but that it wasn't final, so I would accept an offer from him if he would like to make one. I was trying to play both of these guys so that I could get them into a bidding war and get more money for my car. You know, the whole love wins thing.
Err.....When I told Ahmed that there was another offer on the table, he politely said that he did not want to get in the way of this other guy getting my car, since he was there first. He started to say, "It's against my..." and then he finished by simply saying that "I just would not like to do that to the other guy. It wouldn't be fair."
I looked Ahmed in the eyes and told him that I thought he was very honorable, and inwardly I felt a little ashamed.
I immediately wanted to sell my car to Ahmed. He was a genuinely honorable person who was practicing the golden rule with sincerity and humility. I feel in my spirit that Ahmed loves God. I do not know this, I'm just saying that's how I felt when I was around him -- that's what my spirit discerned. I prayed for Ahmed that night.
Ahmed is a Muslim.

No comment from my side except الحمد لله على نعمة الاسلام و كفى بها نعمة

Sand Storm in Egypt

Yesterday around 5:00 pm, Egypt's sky turned into orange-yellow colour in cause of one of the worst sand storms i've ever seen here. Weird that we r also past the spring season already!

Egyptian Marriages - the biggest of all culture crabs! - Episode 2 (The Wedding)

Do you have any idea how much money Egyptians spend on wedding parties alone every year?
I wish i had an exact statistic, but i can solidly say it should be at least a figure of 8 digits ... based on the fact that the single wedding costs thousands of pounds.
Let's elaborate shwaia on the wedding party preparations.
First, there are actually several faces of celebrations related to the wedding.
Usually, the first one is "reading the Fatiha" which is normally done with the attendence of only the close family members, with of course dinner and flowers and "gateaux".
Then, comes the engagement, which a lot of ppl tend to make it a real party, usually in a hotel ... ok, so this means that:
1. They rent a hall in a hotel
2. Make a list of invitees
3. Keep deducting names from the least of the invitees if they exceed their financial limit (coz hotels charge by person, which would be a minimum 150 pounds)
4. The bride has to prpare a nice soiree gawn and the groom a nice suite.
Speak about all the money and effort involved in such an occasion which is for only one night (and according to statistics on my circle of friends alone, 7 of every 10 engaged couples usually break up!)
Next comes Katb el ketab ... which is done in the mosque ... some ppl even set conditions on the mosque itself ... it should be x and not y! Subhannallah!Some ppl have a party celebrating katb el ketab (AGAIN???! ... yes) ... but most ppl just celebrate it privetly afterwards.
Anyways ... here comes the big day ... the wedding ... First there are many many many preparations to be done:
1. The two couples take a tour around all the hotels in the city ... looking at wedding halls, comparing prices, checking menues of food and wedding programs and usually getting frustrated by the results that they might as well just call off the wedding! (Did u know that there are 30% tax on hotel hall rentalS ?)

2. The two couples take a seat, deep breath and start comparing their options. Most of the time accompanied by a a lot of arguing. (worse if parents are there)

3. Make a list of invitees ... but then, usually comes up that they will have to deduct a lot of names again due to financial limits. And here comes the real dilemma ... the bride/groom will be put in a situation when they must satisfy everyone ... of who? the invitees of course ... so: if i don't invite x he will be upset, and if i invite y and x is not there, y is gonna tell x ... so let's invite x and just not invite z!
The funny thing is: most of the invitees of hotel-style weddings are ppl whom the bride and groom hardly know aslan. Coz they are usually old family relatives/friends that the FAMILIES (not the couples) have to invite. While most logical ppl would think in the "closest, closer and then close" perspective, egyptians do not ... so, i as a bride, would rather invite 15 ppl i don't even know their names (but my parents do) than invite 15 of my closest friends who will really make my day happier coz i know they'll be really happy for me not just "attending the wedding of smone's daughter ...nice food ;) "!!!

4. Go to the chosen hotel. Re-check the wedding program by adding/modifying/ deleting items. Food menus are also subject to criticism and "oh! they don't have @#$#? yaaaaaay ... they are so old fashioned" kinda thing!

5. the bride goes for endless shopping hunting a wedding dress that's not like her cousin's who just got married and that's put all the groom's female family members speechless!(Do you know how much a wedding dress costs? THOUSANDS ... do you know how many times one gets to actually wearing? once? Nope :P actually TWICE ... one time "trying it" in a closed room and one time in the wedding itself!

Now we come to the wedding day itself ... check wut happens.
1. Say wedding is at 8 ... ppl start arriving at 9 ... stay for an hour doing nothing put checkig up each other - litteraly speaking : check this girl's dress, that boy looks cute, i have a 22 years old daughter .. how old is your son? 24? Perfect! -Then the couples arrive at roughly 10 pm (2 hours from the fixed time)

2. As they enter the hall, there MUST be "Asmaa Allahu Al Hosna" with the voice of Hesham Abbas at the beginning ... i must have had this more than a hundred times over the past 2 years alone .. in every engagement/katb ketab/wedding! It's simply in the syllabus! And the couples just stand there, everyone looking at them for 10 min. .. 10 min doing nothing, just standing there and putting a silly smile on their faces!

3. zaffa starts(they have to choose out of several types ... alexandrian, Dameyettan, ballet ... etc) .. zaffa is a wedding marche ... (AFTER the previous 10 min. of standing, yes)

4. The couples go and sit in "el kousha" which are two ornamented seats in the middle of the hall. They sit there for not less than other 15 min. doing also nothing but listening to the DJ ... worse: sm girls might decide to show their talents in belly dancing ... well, there's music afterall and nobody seems to be doing anything anyways .. DUH!

5. In some weddings, there's some famous singer in the show. he takes several thousands just for a playback! you'll ask, y not let the DJ play his songs? coz his attendence adds value to the wedding ... ppl would keep speaking about seeing him in X's wedding for weeks! WOW!

6. The wedding planner or coordinator is the hotel representative who says when the program item starts. At some point of the night, he has to go invite the couples to the dance floor. If they refuse, he keeps insisting and insisting and might call for assistance from the attendance to come and drag the bride and groom into the dance floor ... if the groom is solid enough to resist, this might turn into an actual fight between him and the coordinator (and believe me, i've seen it)

7. Another program item is cutting the cake. A wedding is judged based on several criteria. One of them is -believe it or not- how many levels is the cake! in some weddings, it can reach TEN layers! (all of which are fake btw, they are un-eatable .. and only the one that the couples are instructed to cut is the real one) ... The wedding planner (again that provoking guy) would do such a stupid thing as hold a fork (with a piece of the cake of course) between the two couples and asks them to take a bite (again, if they refuse he might as well accuse them of screwing up
"HIS" program) ... it's about 3 min. of funny scene coz the two of them keep getting closer then back and closer and back ... then the wedding-planner/provoker does the quite expected act of pulling away the fork as the bride and groom both get closer to it ... ehem! does anybody know that a man kissing his wife in public is NOT permissible in islam? In one wedding, the groom got fed up with the whole thing, he just pushed away the guy's hand with the fork and kissed the bride and said to the guy "There ... satisfied now?" .... !!!!

There are a lot and a lot of other stupid program items in my bag, but i'm tired of counting. Anyways, you got the whole picture ... just endless time and effort wasted on stupid stuff!
People can still have a happy wedding without all this stuff!

till next episode ... think of other ways to have a happy wedding :)

Egyptian Marriages - the biggest of all culture crabs!

I had a couple of heated discussions about "marriage" the other day.
Well the first one was mainly about the whole point of marriage. You see, egyptians have a very intelligent reason for marriage ... they have a very famous saying for it: "Sunnet el 7ayah" ... it's life, or life's nature! Ya salaaaam ... so ppl just get married just because their parents did it, and they should also get married and have kids so that life'd continue. Ok, it a good reason BUT not the SOLE reason. Otherwise life would be just "botton taled wa ardon tabla3" ... just uteruses delivering babies and earth that swallows ... that's how they used to describe the days of "jaheleya" before islam by the way ... which is a very funny coincidence, since this means we are going back in time!
For Allah's sake ... it's not getting married just for the sake of getting married! DUH! I wanna marry smone who understands me ... who cares about what i think, what i wanna do in life ... i want to share my dreams with him, i wanna know his goals, help him reach it ... or better we reach a common goal together. i want a man who wants to raise his children to have independent thought, who'd make a difference in their world before OUR world ...Unfortunately, a lot,if not most, egyptian marriages never consider that. A guy proposes and the parents qualify him (basically on financial and mannarism levels) and the girl sees if he is good, have good thoughts ... etc. and that's it ... ok .. he's cool. Yalla!
hardly do they discuss things like: lifestyle, friendship, goals, concepts in life in general ... what they like to do, what they wanna achieve for short and long term goals, how they'd like to raise their children, what'd happen if they dis-agree on smthg ... etc. Somehow they miraculously skip all these details and they find about it laterz, then they find that they have to make compromises coz regarding these things, they simply do not match!
Smone once told me that marriage is an upgraded friendship. I WISH! look at friends ... they have many things in common, they like to hang out together, they support each other, they respect wut each want to do ... it's not just "friendship for the sake of friendship" DUH!

The second discussion had two points. The first point was concerning the choice. Why is it that a man is always the one who chooses the bride and not the other way around. In the egyptian culture, it's considered a shame if a girl says i like this guy and i'd like to have him as a husband. It's HIM who always have to take the first step. And i really cannot find anything islamic that says it cannot be the other way around. Take the story of the daughter of Al Khedr in the story of Moussa (pbuh). SHE saw that he was a well-mannered person and SHE showed her father that she admired him. (Decode: SHE was the one who first made the choice) In fact, lady Khadijah was the one who took the first step, sending her maid to ask the prophet (pbuh) for marriage. Smone told me: well, yeah ... but you are not anything like lady Khadijah and surely he cannot be anything like the prophet (pbuh). Oh C'mon! do u really buy this? First, i'm talking about the concept. It had nothing to do with the attributes or manners of the two persons. Second, the fact that such a thing could happen, BEFORE isalm, in the then strict closed arab society, proves that this was something normal and acceptable. (Decode: wut we have now in our culture, that it's a shame for a woman to show that she admires a man is just culture crab).
Now, don't get me wrong here ... i'm not saying: all you girls out there go and pick homsoever you want, grab them and take them back home to meet the parents. C'mon be reasonable.I'm simply thinking logical. Being a reasonable person, a girl can say that i like this man because he is so and so and i think he'd make a good husband and a good father for my children ... and if you look at it from the other side, it's not humiliation or that she's desperate or anything that culture crab would suggest ... it's simply saying that: this man is "well qualified" to deserve me ...In fact, this is more dignified than being a doll put up for exhibition where every now and then smone passes by, examines her manners and speech and then say yes or no. Cause this is how most marriages happen now in Egypt. The "arranged marriages" style. which i'm also not against. But if i had to choose between smone i know his qualities and i think he is good and between just "considering" smone i dunno at all but he happened to knock on the door ... hmm, the options doesn't take much thinking i guess!
well, that friend i was talking to said "did I tell you the 25% theory?" when a man proposes to a woman either of the cases can happen: either she likes him and he does not like her, the contrary, they both don't like each other or 25% probably they will both like each others! Subhannallah! then which is better?
The other point was the complications of marriage in Egypt. 100% culture crab! I remember once an american friend was telling about smthg. that happened to her when she went to visit her neighbours .. egyptian ones ... they were chatting and the american happened to mention smthg bout a friend - amrican of course- who's coming to egypt and trying to get sm help with finding an appartment and stuff anyways, the whole discussion turned into wut? the egyptian neighbour and her daughters turned against the american saying that foreign women come to Egypt to steel our men - ehem! btw, she was saying this to my american friend who is married to an egyptian :) ... stupidity is a gift! anyways, i remember that we discussed it and said that egyptians make sooo many complications for marriages ... while things are pretty much simpler with western ppl and that may be that's y egyptian men prefer to marry non-arabs!
I saw this with my own eyes. houses that are not fancy-furnished, even lacks a lot of wut egyptian classy ppl would consider as ESSENTIALS ... Take curtains for one thing; I entered the kitchen at work - yeah, that's not a typing error, we do have a nice kitchen at work ... tell you about how much i feel homy at E laters :P - and there were a bunch of guys who are either engaged or ex-engaged and they were talking about wut? the curtains! they say it's the worst bloody thing in marriage preparations ... endless search for the right color/style/material ... etc. and of course endless arguments between bride-groom, bride-mother in law, mother-mother in law ... !@$#@#%#$%#$!
For western ppl, may be they have these things, may be they wanna have these things, but they don't just make a big deal about it ... life for these ppl is just simple ... these things r trivial things and i think, mashaa Allah, all of them are really happy and content with wut they have and wut they don't have now, i guess, all comes to those who wait!I don't deny that when i go to a nice appartment i can admire the painting or the furniture or wutever, and i'd say to myself: yeah, i'd like to have that in my appartment inshaa Allah ... and i know that these western ppl probably think the same ... but i honestly don't give too much concern for these stuff khales ... if we can afford it then elhamdullelah, and if not, then some day we might inshaa Allah. What's the fun about having everything set and ready from the begining aslan. i'd like to build my home piece by piece. but i know i'm gonna go thru hell if i get married to an egyptian that's y i really favour western marriages.
The problem is that in egyptian society, ppl give very high consideration for wut other ppl - the society they say - would say or think about them. to me, this is just being coward and not true to oneself nor to Allah. How many of us would really think, when getting married, about how they'll be accounted infront of Allah on this family they're starting to build rather than think wut ppl who'd visit them would think about their appartment or wut they'd say about their wedding ceremony?why not just don't care wut ppl say? ... beauty is in the eye of the beholder ... i don't mind if ppl visit me and my walls are not painted or i don't have curtains! wut more or less does furniture and these stuff make of my marriage? nothing ... so y not concentrate on the real things that build up my marriage (i.e, me and my husband and our dreams and goals in life)?and don't we just contradict ourselves? The prophet (pbuh) says: etha ga2akom mn tardawna deenaho wa 2amanataho fa zawegoh ... if someone proposes whose religion and honesty satisfies you, let him marry ... he never said anything about the his money/appartment/car/furniture!
and how was the house of the prophet (pbuh) himself? He (pbuh) used to sleep on a bed of straw that left marks on his back (pbuh) ... ppl would say: well! that's the prophet ... well yeah ... DUH ... whose prophet? isn't it the same prophet that we are supposed to follow his footsteps or wut? I'm not saying we SHOULD sleep on a bed of straw, but if we cannot have a bed of feathers, we shouldn't go whinning about it and complaining that "oh mummy, he doesn't loooooove me ... i don't wanna marry him!" ... or "daughter, this guy is no good for you, he wants you to sleep on a normal bed? not a water bed? hell no!" ... subhannallah! we r just attached to materialistic culture crab and the disaster is: we just cannot not admit it!
Moreover, we r fooling ourselves by talking about a groom with "good manners" and a "good person" and "respectable family" and "modesty" .... coz when it's time for the real thing ... khalas .. forget about all this and start ... no, he should get a better shabka ... he should pay higher mahr, the furniture is still or modern? the colors of the appartment have to be changed ... etc.and if u look at it ... i don't want all this. ... simply because if he does get all this, he gets it from his parents money ... and i don't want my man to be dependant on anyone.how big can a guy's salary be to satisfy all this? Get real!
And Parents ... OOOH ... these are a whole other story. I think for quite a big percentage of marriage failures, the main reason behind it were the parents. Meet the Parents! There's a ground rule that have to be layed before going any step further. Parents should NEVER be allowed to interfer in couples' affairs. What happens bet. a husband an a wife keeps between them. Neither she should go and tell her parents he did so and so to me nor he should do the same. Simply, coz everything, every argument, every hard feeling can easily be mended bet. the couples, but never between the two families. Mothers have a God-given gift for keeping a whole partition of their memory chip in their brains TOTALLY dedicated to save every single word that's been said and retrieve it when necessary - usually whenever the inlaws are there or when the mother feels an urge to remind him of how good they've been to him for letting their daughter continue with himr after he said what he said! Of course this is on the bride's mother side. coz the husband's mother uses a different technique, just poisoning her son's thoughts against his wife/ family in law or both.Ppl might say i'm exagerrating ... well, things do happen. And on the minor scale, at least a simple argument would last for weeks or may be months with surrounding hard feelings just because parents were involved.
Anyways, Allah bless all the happy couples and help those who didn't get married yet have a smooth not-the-above-style-egyptian marriage.
signature:A traumatized eye-witness to egyptian marriages.

I'd rather live in a stupid dream of my own than live a reality in which i do not fit ...
I'd rather wonder about that which i do NOT know than spend the rest of my life wondering about that which i already DO know ...

The day Journalism was disgraced! - Apparently not by Julland-Posten

you know wuts the difference between danish newspapers and egyptian ones?
Actually not much. The formers dis-respect muslims and the laters dis-respect egyptians!
Which is better? The danish of-course, at least they are danish insulting non-dans ... ours are egyptian insulting egyptians! DUH!
How come? well! i'd certainly consider it an insult to my IQ when one of our top national newspapers - if not the top - thinks that i - as one of its several million readers - am soooo stupid that i wouldn't notice their CHEAP try to come around the latest Alexandrian churches crisis.

On the very first page of today's edition (Sunday), two adjacent pieces were published:

First one: A muslim man attacks the worshippers in a Masjed in Mansoura injuring an old man after al Maghreb prayer.
(Decode: Hey ppl, Pshycos are all over Egypt and they don't differentiate between Mosques and Churches. So don't Panic, we are working on a law that gives death sentence to ppl who attack churches and hospitalization for those who attack mosques)

Second one (right on it's right side): Two young men got killed trying to save a christian man. And it read: A tragic accident happend that demonstrates the deep and strong BONDS between fellow Muslims and Christians when two young men went into a sewage pipe trying to save a christian worker from choking, but ended up choking up with him and all three died. The incedent happened in "samallot" center in the governess of "Al Menya".
(Decode: No need, they didn't even have the courtesy to bluff, they said it straight: "demonstrates the deep and strong BONDS between fellow Muslims and Christians")

Now, since when does:
1. Accidents that happen in small villages and country side make it to the "FIRST PAGE" in ANY newspaper ANYWHERE in the globe?
2. The religious identity of the main characters in an accident report is highly stressed to that extent?
3. Picture this: a guy caught in the sewage pipe is desperatly calling for help and the two guys who happen to be there, instead of just logically rushing to help him, stop and ask him "hey you down there; we just have a small inquiry before we can give you a hand there; are you a christian or a muslim?" DUH!

The fact that we suffer from a blind-folded media is one thing, and the fact that this media underestimates the intelligence of its readers to that extent is one heck of a shame!