فى هذه اللحظة

تنعكس على وجهى الأضواء الزرقاء التى تدور بجنون فوق سطح سيارتى اسعاف الطرق السريعة اللتان

تتسابقان أمامنا على الطريق الغارق فى الظلام ... اشيعها بنظرات قلقة وهى تمضى الى موقع حادث لابد قد وقع غير بعيد عن موقعنا الآن

بالفعل ... لم ينقض وقت طويل حتى وجدنا انفسنا أمام حشد من السيارات يسد الطريق كله معطيا اشارات انتظار بدت فى تفاوت نبضاتها الصفراء انعكاسا لنبضات قلبى المرتجف

ها أنا ذا أقف فى لحظة من الزمن هى اشد ما تكون قربا من لحظة غيرت تاريخ بضعة من البشر الى الأبد ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك طفل قد تيتم بفقد أمه أو أبيه أو كلاهما ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك امرأة ترملت ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك أم أو أب فقدا ابنهما أو ابنتهما ولن يسمعا كلمة "أمى" او "ابى" مرة أخرى... فى هذه اللحظة هناك شخص لن يشيخ ابدا ... لعله بعده ما صار أبا أو جدا ولن يكون ابدا ... لن يضيف الى هذه الدنيا نسلا جديدا على أى حال ... فى هذه اللحظة انطوى ذكر شخص ما من العالم ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك انسان تعلو وجهه ابتسامة واسعة ستفارقه لفترة طويلة بعد ان يتلقى خبر فقد عزيز له فى هذه الليلة بالذات ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك مكتب سيخلو من شاغره فى صباح يوم العمل القادم ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك سرير لن يرقد عليه صاحبه مرة أخرى ... فى هذه اللحظة هناك قيد يرقد مهملا فى احد المكاتب الحكومية ينتظر الاستخراج ويحمل عنوان "شهادة وفاة" ... فى هذه اللحظة - على الأقل بالنسبة لمن يعرف ضحايا ذلك الحادث - كل شىء قد تغير الى الأبد

والأهم من هذا كله ... وهل هناك أفجع من كل هذه؟ سألت نفسى ووجدتى أجيبها بكل بساطة: نعم ... الأهم انه فى هذه اللحظة بالذات هناك من عرف الحقيقة ... الحقيقة التى تحيرنى وتثير فى جسدى قشعريرة وتزرع الآلاف من علامات الاستفهام فى عقلى الذى لا يهمد ابداً ... حقيقة ما بعد الموت ... الحقيقة التى هى ملخص حياتى وحياتى أى من العالمين ... ماذا يريد منى الله؟ لماذا خلقت؟ حتى ان كنت اعرف لماذا خلقت ... اترانى أقوم بدورى هذا فى الحياة كما يجب ام ترانى حدت عن طريق الصواب؟ وماذا لو أتانى الموت بغتة كهذه اللحظة؟ هل أكون قد اكملت مهمتى أم فشلت فيها؟ لماذا اتكبر على الموت وأنا من أشاهد الآن بأم عينى كيف تنتهى الحياة فى أقل من لحظة؟ بل ربما كان يفصلنى عن أن اصبح جزء من هذا الحادث نفسه بضع دقائق لا أكثر وأنا أسير على نفس الطريق؟ لماذا اقنع نفسى دائما ان "مثل هذه الأشياء تحدث للآخرين"؟ وما يمنعها ان تحدث لى أنا وأنا ما أنا ... مجرد واحدة من ملايين البشر؟ لماذا يغرّنى شبابى وأتصور ان أمامى عشرات السنوات لأغير ما أريد تغييره ولأعرف ما أريد معرفته ولأحدث التأثير الذى أريد ان أحدثه؟ وما هو ذلك التأثير الذى سأتركه خلفى فى هذا العالم ؟... أنا التى لم أربى طفلا ولم اتمكن بعد من تغير العالم عن طريقه ... اليس اطفالنا هم التغيير الذى نحدثه فى مستقبلنا؟ وهل سعيت وصدقت السعى ليكون لى دور مختلف مساو فى التأثير على هذا المستقبل ان لم يكن مقدرا لى ان أكون أما؟ وما هى حصيلة تلك السنوات السادسة والعشرون الماضية من حياتى؟ هل استفدت شيئا مما علمتى الحياة أو هل أفدت بها من حولى؟ أم ترانى حين تحين لحظة موتى أنا أكون كالحمار يحمل أسفاراً؟

تدوى كل هذه الأفكار بين جنبات رأسى فتطغى على صوت كاسيت السيارة الذى يدوى بدوره بأغنية ما عن الحب أو الكره أو ما شبه ... أفقت فجأة وأنا أشعر بمدى تناقض الأصوات داخل وخارج رأسى ... وارهقتنى نبضات قلبى المتقافزة فاردت ان استمع للقرآن عله يهدئنى ... لكن ما ان وضعت شريط القرآن فى الكاسيت حتى انطلق القارىء مرتلا هذه الكلمات التى ما زادتنى الا اضطرابا ... وانطقلت الرجفة من قلبى الى سائر جسدى حتى شعرت اننى قد تبعثرت كلية فوق مقعدى وطفوت فوق حدود المكان والمحيط والزمن ... البعض قد يعتبرها مصادفة ... والبعض قد يعتبرها رسالة من الرسائل العديدة التى تصلنا من الله ولا نفهمها الا برحمة من الله لا بأعمالنا ... والبعض قد لا تعنى له شيئاً على الإطلاق فببساطة يقوم بتجاهل الأمر برمته

كان أول ما تلا القارىء هو تلك الآيات من سورة مريم

وَيَقُولُ الْإِنسَانُ أَئِذَا مَا مِتُّ لَسَوْفَ أُخْرَجُ حَيّا ً(66) أَوَلَا يَذْكُرُ الْإِنسَانُ أَنَّا خَلَقْنَاهُ مِن قَبْلُ وَلَمْ يَكُ شَيْئاً (67)فَوَرَبِّكَ لَنَحْشُرَنَّهُمْ وَالشَّيَاطِينَ ثُمَّ لَنُحْضِرَنَّهُمْ حَوْلَ جَهَنَّمَ جِثِيّاً (68) ثُمَّ لَنَنزِعَنَّ مِن كُلِّ شِيعَةٍ أَيُّهُمْ أَشَدُّ عَلَى الرَّحْمَنِ عِتِيّاً (69) ثُمَّ لَنَحْنُ أَعْلَمُ بِالَّذِينَ هُمْ أَوْلَى بِهَا صِلِيّاً (70) وَإِن مِّنكُمْ إِلَّا وَارِدُهَا كَانَ عَلَى رَبِّكَ حَتْماً مَّقْضِيّاً (71) ثُمَّ نُنَجِّي الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوا وَّنَذَرُ الظَّالِمِينَ فِيهَا جِثِيّاً (72) وَإِذَا تُتْلَى عَلَيْهِمْ آيَاتُنَا بَيِّنَاتٍ قَالَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَيُّ الْفَرِيقَيْنِ خَيْرٌ مَّقَاماً وَأَحْسَنُ نَدِيّاً (73) وَكَمْ أَهْلَكْنَا قَبْلَهُم مِّن قَرْنٍ هُمْ أَحْسَنُ أَثَاثاً وَرِئْيا(74)ً قُلْ مَن كَانَ فِي الضَّلَالَةِ فَلْيَمْدُدْ لَهُ الرَّحْمَنُ مَدّاً حَتَّى إِذَا رَأَوْا مَا يُوعَدُونَ إِمَّا الْعَذَابَ وَإِمَّا السَّاعَةَ فَسَيَعْلَمُونَ مَنْ هُوَ شَرٌّ مَّكَاناً وَأَضْعَفُ جُنداً (75) وَيَزِيدُ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ اهْتَدَوْا هُدًى وَالْبَاقِيَاتُ الصَّالِحَاتُ خَيْرٌ عِندَ رَبِّكَ ثَوَاباً وَخَيْرٌ مَّرَدّاً(76) ‏

My Secret

Alrighty! My friends have finally LOST IT!!! I’m no longer the only lunatic out there … hehe.

So, here’s the story. It all began when one of them read this book “the secret” … yeah, all that global propaganda about this phenomenon book has finally reached her, she who hardly reads anything beside her work reports! Personally, I haven’t read the book … but I’ve been witness to the result of reading it: here’s my friend, started this habit of writing a diary … but not just any diary… it’s a diary of her life with “Ahmed” … who? … that’s her future love! So every day she writes down wut they did together that day … like he took her on a boat cruise, or they went out for dinner today .. etc. She’s totally created a virtual life with a virtual lover whose name is freakin “Ahmed”!!! And they call me weirdo!?

Second friend, following the example of the first one, has decided that she’ll be living in a villa, and have a Philippine servant who brings her Nescafe in bed … not only this, she also called the poor servant “Sonita”!!!!

Did I say I didn’t read the book? Well, forget that, coz between the last paragraph and this one I’ve just watched the movie based on the book. Well the secret is … listen to this … the “Law of Attraction”! The theory says:
• Thoughts are magnetic, and thoughts have a frequency. As you think thoughts, they are sent out into the Universe, and they magnetically attract all like things that are on the same frequency. Everything sent out returns to the source—you.

• You are like a human transmission tower, transmitting a frequency with your thoughts. If you want to change anything in your life, change the frequency by changing your thoughts.

• Your current thoughts are creating your future life. What you think about the most or focus on the most will appear as your life. So what the book suggests, and wut these girls applied, is to keep all your focus on your dream, live it every second of your life.

To tell you the truth, at first all I could think of is: Dude! R these girls desperate or wut?!!I mean, c’mon!! But then I looked at myself and there I was … my life is a series of endless objectives and absolutely no goal! Do I need to mention the difference between the goal and the objective? … I want to be visit Italy in April, I started saving money and expected to have enough money by April for the trip, once I step on the Italian land, that objective is gone, and I start thinking of the one that’ll follow. Then wut? 20 years from now wut will I be looking back at? A series of finished and unfinished objectives that are completely unrelated and entirely pointless! There’s no goal, and since there’s no goal, there’s no plan, and since no plan, then no point in going on. Imagine urself lost in the desert .. you panic, y? because you’re surrounded by this vast area of endless sand and you cannot see one single path that if you follow will get you somewhere, just anywhere! This is exactly a life without a goal … of course if you keep walking in any direction for long enough – assuming you have isolated the factors of hunger, thirst and potential dangers - you’ll definitely reach smwhere at a certain point. But the question then will be: was this the place I wanted to reach? May be I’ll end up in Marina or end up in Aswan … the nile or the sea? Salty water or pure water? For sure these options are entirely different and for sure you have to have a saying in which you prefer!

So anyways, I decided to dream, and to figure every detail and visualize it as if this is my current life. So here it is … my life …

I’m a travel reporter for a magazine like the national geographic. I travel for weeks and weeks and go through loads of adventure with my husband who is a free-lance photographer working for the same magazine, before we finally go back to our small house right on the mediteranean. Surrounded by a fence of trees and overlooking the sea, with our lovely daughter whose name is “Malika” and whom I’m going to home-school because I don’t believe in educational systems at least in my home country. When we are home, we all wake up together for our early exercise on the beach … oh yeah, I’ve finally shed off those extra pounds I’ve been dragging around for years and now I’m totally in shape and intend to keep it that way ;) Next, I spend the mornings writing and searching in history and geography and sociology books, while my hubby is in his workshop at the end of the house busy developing and sorting his photos and caring for his tools.Then comes my favorite time of the day and that’s when I’m cooking in the kitchen and Malika is helping me with her little hands and her dad comes in, hugs me from behind, plants a kiss on my cheek, goes to change his cloths before he comes and joins us in setting the table.At night we all lie on the big hammock on the beach, star gazing and sharing stories.

Next Post - hopefully - I'll discuss more about the book itself. See you then ;)

ALI

It was almost midnight when i was dropping off a friend of mine infront of el nozha street just few meters away from Abbas el Akkad and while we were getting some stuff from the trunk we were approched by this little boy who must have been no more than 7 years old selling lemons (which is practically equivalent to begging and it's like a mutual consent between him and the passer-bys that its just another form of begging ... C'mon who is suddnly in urgent need for buying lemons or mint or any of the weird stuff they walk around with in the streets while heading to work or even back home? )

Usually i'm too reluctant to give beggers anything, specially when they r such young kids coz i believe that would mean that i'm implicitly consenting to child abuse .. these parents "RECRUIT" their children in such demeaning jobs - if we may call this a job - instead of sending them to school or giving them the least of care they deserve .. and yet sometimes i think, well, probably if they do go to school and the parents lose this source of income then they'd all die of hunger ... then again i think: well, no one really dies of hunger in the streets of Cairo, i challenge you to find me one begger ... just ONE ...who is even remotely skinny... some of them are even pretty chubby! Then i remember the prophet's saying: "Do not turn away those who ask (you for something)" and i think to myself: well, wut difference would one pound make to you you stingy B****! ... then again thinking about child abuse and God only knows wut these children do with the money or even worse: what their parents and street gangs do with it and with the child himself! I've always been in a delimma about that.
So, back to Ali ... that's the little lemon-boy's name ... reluctant as i am to give beggers, my friend- who is a foreigner btw- wasn't apparently ... and she attempted to give him smthg. - which i found really strange, coz feorigners are usually even more reluctant to do so! She gave him some money and the boy - hearing our english conversation- said: "one pound" in english .. she smiled and said to him: "yes, one pound" ... so i said laughing:"where did u learn this 'one pound' from?" ... he answered: "geneh ya3ni one pound, etnen geneh ya3ny etnen pound, talata geneh ya3ny talata pound" ... LOL ... tha was so cute, and he said it in such a cute way with a glimpse of shyness in his eyes ... apparently our laughters gave him more courage so when i was ready to get back into the car he approached me again smiling and asked me "what does 'khamsa geneh' mean?" ... I answered him: "Five" ... he repeated it and we both were turning away to leave when he turnd back to me again and pointed to my friend and asked: "where is she from?" ... I replied: "Germany" ... though i doubt he knew where that is, but he looked at me in a very interested manner and asked again: "Does she have some of the "Reyals" they have back in their country?" ... LOL ... Reyals? ... Damn the gulf reputation dominating the Egyptian street! ... i said: "No, its not reyals they use, its called a Euro" ... he repeated like its the first time he hears the word, so i said: "it's like the dollar, you know the american dollar?" ... not quite sure if he did he nodded anyways then said: "Then ask her if she has some of it, i can buy it" ... Me: "Are you sure u have enough money for that?" .. He (in an assertive manner): "yes, How much is it?" ... Me: "Eight pounds" ... so he puts his hand in his pocket feeling the money there and without taking it out says: "Could be enough" ... Meanwhile, i was translating every word so my friend started looking up some currency in her bag then finally came up with a note of five Sterling Pounds - no they don't use that in Germany, she was living in UK before Egypt u smart reader :P - I alamost whistled holding that! ... five Sterling Pounds is a lot of money actually ... i handed it to him, he looked at it closely with his big hazel eyes and asked what it was ... i told him it's the currency the British use ... he asked again "how much is it worth?" ... i said "around 50 Egyptian Pounds" ... he looked at me in disbelief and put out his hands with it back to me again muttering in a shy tone "No, i can't afford that" ... I was stunned by his reaction actually ... can u believe he really did that? simply turned down a note of five Sterling Pounds? ... i told him "No, keep it, she's giving it to you, but keep it safe and take care no one steals it from you, that's a real lot of money!" ... he still looked at me in total disbelief and asked again "C'mon, how much is it really?" ... the poor boy! ... Me: "I'm not kidding you, that's over fifty EGP" ... A smile shined on his face - it was there all the time actually - showing uneven but very white beautifull teeth and asked: "Can i have it changed?" ... i said "Yeah, from any exchange office, do u know where/what they are?" ... he pointed out at a sign far across the street and said "yes, there's one over there, i see sudanese ppl go there with piles of money" then he went on "Is it true - ya madame :)) - that our pound was worth hundred times more than 'THEIR' pound many years back?" ... "well son, could be ... but that must've been a REALLY long time ago ...time that neither you nor I have been around early enough to witness!" ... he said with his adorable smile: "May be it will be again some day!"

Yeah! who knows! :)

حزام أمان

النهاردة لما قعدت على مكتبى الصبح حسيت انى عايزة أشد الحزام

لوووووووووووول

شعور غريب قوى انك تبقى عايز تشد الحزام وانت قاعد على كرسى مكتب مش
كرسى عربية

تفتكروا ده تفسيره ايه؟

شعور عام بعدم الأمان؟

وللا احساس انى متراقبة وهاخد مخالفة؟

والله باينى اتجننت

إنزواء

لماذا يكون مصير جميع العلاقات الى الفناء؟
ربما تكون كلمة "فناء" شديدة بعض الشىء
ربما هو الانزواء؟ حين تنزوى العلاقات الواحدة تلو الأخرى فى أركان مظلمة على جانبى حياتك؟
الأصدقاء يأتون ويرحلون
الحب ينمو ويذوى
حتى الأهل يتباعدون ويصيرون مجرد حقيقة أخرى من حقائق الحياة لا نتوقف أمامها كثيراً بل واحياناً نتحاشاها

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ومفيش حكاية بتستمر زى ما بدأت ليه على طول؟

يومية من باقى اليوميات

صحيت النهاردة فى حالة غريبة ... عمرك صحيت من النوم حاسس ان لو حد قالك بس صباح الخير يبقى قليل ان ما لطشته قلمين؟
احساس بالخنقة من كل البشر بما فيهم أنا
دخلت المكتب وكان فيه واحدة زميلتى واقفة على بعد ييجى 100 متر منى لكن صوتها بياكل فى أعصابى وهى بتحكى قصة الفيلم بتاع ال ام بى سى تو ليلة امبارح
كنت حاسة انها لو مسكتتش حالا هقوم أصور قتيل فى المكتب انهاردة
احساس قمىء

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الأكل غلى؟ وماله
العيش مش لاقينه؟ وماله
البنزين غلى؟ وماله
الأكل غلى تانى؟ وماله

اللى قال ان الثورة تولد من رحم الأحزان ماكانش مصرى

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أشعر انى خلية تحتضر فى جسد ميت

Filter

كل انسان اتولد طفل

ابيض من جوة

فى عينيه براءة

وفى قلبه حب وخير

ولما بيكبر

بيتلون بألف لون

الشر والحقد

الحزن والمرارة

الخيانة .. الندالة

....

ساعات بحس

ان على عينى فلتر

مبيعديش غير اللون الأبيض

مابشوفش غير الطفل فى الانسان

ولو فى يوم

حد رمانى بفرشة ألوان

تلسعنى زى النار

اتنفض وابعد بعيد

واشيل الفلتر من على عنية

الألوان تعمينى

تزغللنى

تضايقنى

فألبسه تانى

ارجع اشوف كله ابيض

كله طفل

فى جنينة الأسماك

عارف امتى تعرف ان الفيلم فعلا بيوصل معنى؟ لما تدخله مع أمل انك هتشوف فيلم ممتع ... وميكونش ممتع على الاطلاق ... لكن مع ذلك تخرج منه مبسوط ... بتفكر ... وعايز تشوفه تانى

هوه ده فيلم "جنينة الأسماك" ليسرى نصرالله ... فى أول ساعة الا ربع من الفيلم كنت بكتم غيظى وحسرتى على الخمسة وعشرين جنية بالضحك ... وملل شنيع بيتسلل زى المخدر فى أعصابى مع بطء حركة الكاميرا واداء الممثلين والكادرات الثابتة
الخوف تيمة تسيطر على الفيلم بكل شخصياته ... تحسها قى علاقات كل شخصية باللى حواليها ومواقفها من الأحداث اللى بتحصل قدامها وليها ... ايه اسباب الخوف ده؟ الفيلم ما قدمش أسباب واضحة ...فكل شخصية فى الفيلم ليها ماضى مجهول ... وحاضرهم مختلف تمام الاختلاف عن بعضهم البعض ... لكن
كلهم بيجتمعوا على شىء واحد ... كلهم خايفين ... ولانهم مش عارفين يواجهوا خوفهم ... فهم بيتداروا منه وراء أقنعة ... وهى وان اختلفت ما بين مكياج " ليلى" وميكروفون برنامجها الاذاعى وبين سيارة "يوسف" اللى بيبات فيها ... أو كلام "مارجريت" عن جيرانها واحساسها الزائف بالأمان وسط شارعها وعمارتها ... الى آخر النماذج اللى قدمها الفيلم ... فهى كلها تحقق وظيفة واحدة ... هى محاولة يائسة للاختباء من عيون الناس ... ومن الخوف
والقناع اللى بنلبسه ده ... بيدارينا عن الناس وللا بيدارينا عن نفسنا؟

ليلى لما حبت تغير القناع ... غيرت المكياج ... اختارت لون الروج الأحمر الصارخ عشان يعكس جرأة وانطلاق وتحرر هى نفسها مش بتمارسهم على أرض الواقع ... ولما اكتشفت ان طبيب التخدير الواقف قدامها هو نفسه الشاب اللى كلمها فى التليفون وواجهها بخوفها ... مسحت المكياج بسرعة وعنف ... القناع وقع ... اتعرت

المؤلف اختار مهنة البطلة بذكاء شديد ... برنامج أسرار الليل بيعبر ببساطة وتلقائية عن حاجة كل انسان انه يتدارى فى سماعة تليفون و"يفضفض" شوية لحد لا يعرفه ولا شايفه ... خوف برضو ... الحاجز الوهمى عبر التليفون بيدى الانسان احساس انه متغطى حتى لو عرى نفسه وكشف كل اسراره حتة حتة
آدم وحواء متكسفوش انهم من غير هدوم غير لما فهموا انهم شايفين بعض وهم عرايا ... ما هم كانوا شايفين بعض طول الوقت ... لكنهم ماكانوش عارفين انهم كده مش متغطيين

ومهنة البطل كمان ... دكتور التخدير اللى بيستمتع بسماع حكايات الناس وكشفهم لأدق أسرارهم واحاسيسهم المجردة من أى خوف أو خجل وهم تحت تأثير البنج

هو لازم الواحد يكون فى اللاوعى عشان ما يخفش ... عشان يقدر يواجه الناس ... والأهم ... عشان يقدر يواجه نفسه؟

مع اقتراب الفيلم من نهايته كنت غصت تماما داخل الشخصيات ... لحظات الصمت بقت مليانة بصوتى أنا جوة راسى والكادرات الثابتة أفكارى نفسها كانت بتتحرك جواها ... استنى والنبى يا أ/ يسرى متقلبش المشهد عشان لسه عايزة أفكر شوية

TAGGGGGGGGG

Isn't it always interesting to read TAGs? ... satisfying that most basic of human desires: CURIOSITY!!! y else would smone spend at least 5 min just listening to smone jabbering bout him/herself?
Man, one must really be BORED to death to stoop that low :PP
Anyways, i've always been TAG reader, now i've been Tagged by Charafantah, so it's time to be a TAG writer ... Cool!

The Rules

1. Post 10 random things about yourself
2. Choose 5 people to tag and a reason you chose each person
3. Leave them each a comment directing them to your blog so they know they are it
4. You can’t tag the person who tagged you (you’ll have to make new friends)
5. As a courtesy to the person who tagged you, please let them know when you have posted so they can have the sheer delight and extra work load of reading your answers)

The TAG

1. I have a lot of DARK secrets that burdens me and want to reveal them to anyone, but I can’t. (Sorry ya Charafantah, that was too easy not to copy :P)
2. I ADORE gebna Istanbully and it's a MUST with any cup of tea!
3. I have zilch self confidence and it keeps me away from achieving lots of stuff that i've great potential for (that last part is a bit too confident, isn't it? :P)
4. I HATE Conference calls and words just fly over my head (i'm in one right now!! :( )
5. I have a little MONK inside me ... when i walk on floor tiles, i have to follow the patterns of colors of shapes, i simply cannot stand any squeaking sounds or ppl "beytar2a3o" sawabe3hom ... it gets me jumping all over the place, i don't like to touch the buttons in the elevator or open the doors in public places and use my elbow or my key chain instead!
6. When i'm depressed i tend to eat, and when i'm on diet i get depressed ... figure that out!
7. I cannot cook - i mean not even a carrot! - but always dream of having my own place so that i can enjoy some quality time alone in the kitchen inventing all sorts of dishes ... i actually enjoy "imaging" the stuff i would create ... if i had choosen a different path in life, i'd have studied cooking!
8. I have hidden wants that i cannot stop fantacising about: riding a scooter to work (like J.D in Scrubs), carrying a backpack and hiking the world, having my own appartment in one of the old areas in town where i'll have birds in the balcony, plants all over the place, a fish acquarium, home theatre system playing lounge music from mystic places all around the flat ... and i'd spend the whole day between caring for these things, household, reading, writing and facebook ... oh yeah, there was definitely facebook in that dream! hehe
9. I cannot face tragidies (specially when its my own) and tend to laugh them away which makes me look like a heartless B**** most of the time.
10. I cannot sleep unless everyone else is asleep at home ... and DEFINITLY cannot share rooms!

Only Four people to tag:

Balaha Sousou , Sameh , Yomika , wut's in the middle ... enough keda :)

! ... أتخمدوا

"امبارح وأنا واقفة فى المول مع صحابى لقيت واحدة جاية ناحيتى بثقة وبتقوللى "ازيك يا ...؟

!!!!ياااااااااااااه

فى الجزء من الثانية اللى فصلت بين سؤالها وبين ال"يااه" الى طلعت منى دى حسيت انى رجعت فى الزمن بفلاش باك زى الأفلام الأمريكانى اللى بتكون البطلة فيها واقفة ثابتة وكل الأشياء حواليها بتتغير فى "فرايمز" أو إطارات زمنية ماشية باتجاه عكسى سريع جداً لكن واضح لحد ما يتوقف كل شىء فجأة وبحدة وتلاقى – البطلة – نفسها واقفة فى وسط حدث معين فى زمن معين فى الماضى وبتعيشه من أول وجديد
المرة دى كنت أنا البطلة ... والزمن كان عشر سنين كاملة فاتوا ... تحديداً فى ليلة شتا فى أولى ثانوى ... وأنا قاعدة فى دايرة كبيرة مع الشلة كلها مربعين على مجموعة من السراير المتلاصقة فى عنبر نوم كبير فى دير المدرسة ببورسعيد ... وكانت هى – صاحبتى دى – قاعدة مربعة قدامى فى بيجامتها الخضراء وعلى راسها طاقية نوبى ملونة بتاعتى – لأنى كنت لسه جاية من رحلة فى أسوان – وحاطة كفيها الاثنين مفتوحين ومفرودين على كف البنت اللى جنبها من اليمين والشمال عشان كنا بنلعب "آى" ... عارفينها؟ كل واحدة تضرب اللى جنبها على كفها جامد ولو اللى اتضربت قالت "آى" تطلع برة اللعبة!

آى" ... كنت دايما بافضل للآخر لأن كفى كبير وبيوجع اللى أضربه ... لكن البنت اللى جنبى المفعوصة اديها صغيرة ومعضمة وبتوجع أكتر ... "آى" وطلعت برة

لسة سامعة فى ودانى صوت الضحك والصريخ واحنا بنجرى ورا بعض فى العنبر وخرجنا على التراس الواسع علقنا البنت الشقية المجنونة اللى بقت "ماما" من كام اسبوع من كمامها بالمشابك على حبل غسيل بعرض التراس
وشايفة مدرسة المواد الاجتماعية وهى واقفة على باب العنبر – عنبر المجانين كان مش عنبر نوم ابداً فى

"الليلة دى – وبتزعقلنا ووشها بيكتم ضحكة بالعافية "مش هتتخمدوا بقى؟

وصوت المطر بيخبط فوقينا وبتجمع فى نقطة ما ويقع على أرض الجنينة كأن فى حد كان بيملى جرادل

!ويصبها من فوق السطوح طول الليل

وفجأة البنت اللى جنبى تتنفض من رقدتها وتقوم تبص قدامها فى الضلمة وتشيل سماعات الووكمان من

ودانها وتنط من السرير ... تتدلق وتقع وتختفى من قدامى لثانية ... اندهلها ... "يا ... انتى رايحة فين؟" ... متردش ... وتقوم فجأة وتتطلع تجرى برة العنبر ... ويغلبنى النوم وأنا بسأل نفسى "راحت فين المجنونة دى واحنا قرب الفجر كده؟!!" ... واصحى الصبح أسألها فتنكر كل شىء ... احكيلها كل حاجة بالتفصيل فترد ببساطة "مش فاكرة ... بس أنا ساعات بامشى وأنا نايمة" ... وتحكيلة عن مواقف كتير حصلت لها

!!من النوع ده! ... أما عنبر مجانين صحيح

والصبح خرجنا كلنا بربطة المعلم ... ييجى 25 بنت ... طلعنا ع الشارع الرئيسى واحنا بنعدى الشارع قررنا نقف نتصور ... 25 بنت بعرض الشارع كله ... وقفنا العربيات ومنعنا المرور واديناهم ضهرنا ووقفنا نتصور ... الكاميرا الكوداك القديمة بتاعتى ... بكرهها ... دايماً بتحرق على الأقل 5 صور من ال30 صورة ... بقعد أدعى مع كل صورة حلوة باخدها انها متكونش من ال5 صور اللى هيتحرقوا! وأروح استلم الصور من معمل تحميض "كادو" اللى جنب المدرسة وكأنى رايحة اجيب نتيجة امتحان كنت داخلاه بمبدأ "يا صابت يا خابت"! يا ترى هنقص كام صورة المرة دى؟

وفى الصورة بنت ... طويلة ورفيعة زى القلم الرصاص ... كنا مسمينها "عضموف" من كتر ما هى

معضمة ... ضحكتها الطيبة حتى على القفشات اللى كنا بنتريق بيها عليها لسه بترن فى ودانى ... فى الصور كنت دايماً أقف جنبها عشان أعمل توازن لطولى بعيد عن مقاريض الدفعة! ... الله يرحمها ...ماتت السنة اللى فاتت ... الله يرحمها

!مجانين" ... كانت دى كلمة صاحب العربية اللى سمحنا لها بالمرور أخيراً"

و 4 – 5 حناطير اتوزعنا عليهم بالليل عند قرية النورس وملينا شوارع بورسعيد غنا وضحك وتهريج ... جبنا الشوكولاتة من سوبر ماركت الفار ... التوبليرون والمارس والليون والدوبلو ... فى مصر آخرتا كان كادبورى ومورو ... والله يرحم الكورونا ... ورجعنا امبارح الدير نتسحب بعد ما اتأخرنا عن "الكيرفيو" اللى كان الساعة 9 ... دلوقتى 10:30 ... الحمد لله المدرسات كانوا اتأخروا هما كمان

والرقص والغنا طول الطريق فى الأتوبيس لحد ما وصلنا القاهرة ... وأهالينا اللى مستنينا فى البرد فى

"جراج المدرسة بالليل ... وبداية الحكايات اللى متنتهيش ... "اتبسطى؟" ... " آه الحمد لله ... قوى

عاملة ايه؟" ... وال"فرايمز" ترجع تتقلب تانى والكاميرا بتبعد بسرعة وتخرج من عين البطلة"

والبطلة اللى هيا أنا واقفة فى المول وبترد "الحمد لله ... ماشى الحال" ... أقولها وأنا بعمل "سكان" سريع

على ملامحها ... كبرت قوى ... الزمن باين قوى فى عنيها .. عنيها مبقتش بتلمع بضحكة وشقاوة زى زمان ... وصوتها ... هادى وقور ورزين ... مفيهوش الجلجلة والتنطيط بين الدو والسى فى نطة واحدة زى زمان

مصدومة البطلة! ... مصدومة أنا! ... بسأل نفسى ... يا ترى أنا كمان بقيت كده وللا ايه؟ أمال أنا ليه حاسة أنى لسة طفلة فى أولى ثانوى عليزة ألعب "آى" وأوقف الشارع كله عشان أتصور وأغنى بصوت عالى وأنا راكبة حنطور واجرى أنا واصحابى ورا بعض لحد ما ييجى حد يقولنا "اتخمدوا بقى" ؟
وللا احنا شكلنا "اتخمدنا" فعلاً ؟ ... فى اللغة "خمدت النار" يعنى اطفت ... اطفينا؟
!أنا مش عايزة اطفى! ... عايزة أولع تانى ... هه بقى! ... مليش دعوة

!مرسى بن الزناتى هيشتهر يا مييييينززز

عقبال عندكو كده

فيه افتتاح معرض تصوير فوتوغرافى سيتم افتتاحه النهاردة فى مكتبة ديوان هليوبوليس

وعقبال عندكوا برضو

أنا معروض لى 4 صور بحالهم فيه

المعرض هيستمر اسبوعين

:والتفاصيل اهه

Time and Place
Start Time: Monday, March 10, 2008 at 8:00pm
End Time: Monday, March 24, 2008 at 11:00am
Location: Diwan bookstore heliopolise
Street: 105 abou bakr el sdeak - across Cook Door Safir.

:) تعالوا زوروووونا ... باى بااااااااااى

150 adventurous things

Ok, so i found this list of 150 adventurous things in Charafantah's cave.
Thought its nice to give it a try ... so, here's the list with things i've done in bold:

HAVE YOU EVER?

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula (Ewww!)
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped.
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten my own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (wasn't the nicest thing! Eww again)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne (Not even on a Cola light!)
24. Given more than I could afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as I possibly could
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about my life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for my computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country (actually that was in an indian wedding with complete strangers and just the indian style "moving shoulders" typa dance! DUH)
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip.
48. Gone rock climbing.
49. Taken a midnight walk on the beach.
50. Gone sky diving.
51. Visited Ireland.
52. Been heartbroken longer then I was actually in love with the person.
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them.
54. Visited Japan.
55. Milked a cow.
56. Alphabetized my CDs.
57. Pretended to be a superhero.
58. Sung karaoke.
59. Lounged around in bed all day. (Duh! r u normal ppl?)
60. Posed nude in front of strangers.
61. Gone scuba diving.
62. Kissed in the rain. (Not even in dry air :P)
63. Played in the mud.
64. Played in the rain.
65. Gone to a drive-in theater.
66. Visited the Great Wall of China.
67. Started a business.
68. Fallen in love with someone and not had my heart broken.
69. Toured ancient sites. (you name it)
70. Taken a martial arts class. (Karate when i was 6 years old ... quit after 2 month :))
71. Played D&D for more than six hours straight. (wut's that?)
72. Gotten married. (would i be here answering these stupid questions?)
73. Been in a movie. (oh you mean IN a movie? Nope)
74. Crashed a party. (does it count if i didn't know they're having a party?)
75. Gotten divorced. (i think i should have bolded the "gotten married" question 1st if i ever bold this one! DUH!)
76. Gone without food for 5 days. (I'm fat ... but not THAT fat. Thank you)
77. Made cookies from scratch. (Does brownies count?)
78. Won first prize in a costume contest. (u mean "ugly costume" contest?)
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice.
80. Gotten a tattoo.
81. Rafted the Snake River.
82. Been on a television news program.
83. Received flowers for no reason.
84. Performed on stage. (school. I sucked!)
85. Been to Las Vegas.
86. Recorded music.
87. Eaten shark.
88. Had a one-night stand.
89. Gone to Thailand.
90. Bought a house.
91. Been in a combat zone.
92. Buried one of my parents.
93. Been on a cruise ship.
94. Spoken more than one language fluently.
95. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show.
96. Raised children.
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour.
98. Created and named my own constellation of stars.
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country.
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over.
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge.
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when I knew someone was looking. (i think i have more witnessess than the habitants of Cairo to that)
103. Had plastic surgery. (i think it's about time!)
104. Survived an illness that I shouldn’t have survived. (so far i'm surviving my sinus!)
105. Written articles for a large publication.
106. Lost over 100 pounds.
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback.
108. Piloted an airplane.
109. Petted a stingray.
110. Broken someone’s heart.
111. Helped an animal give birth.
112. Won money on a T.V. game show.
113. Broken a bone. (fractured a toe counts?)
114. Gone on an African photo safari.
115. Had a body part of mine below the neck pierced. (not even above the neck! DUH)
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun or pistol.
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild.
118. Ridden a horse. (Have that phote of me, 3 years old, on a horse back!)
119. Had major surgery.
120. Had a snake as a pet. (Ewwwwwwwwwwww)
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours. (Every time i start a bloody "Augmentin" anti-biotic course)
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.
124. Visited all 7 continents.
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days.
126. Eaten kangaroo. (Is THAT eatable? C'mon)
127. Eaten sushi. (u mean the RAW fish? Hell NO!)
128. Had my picture in the newspaper.
129. Changed someone’s mind about something I care deeply about.
130. Gone back to school. (Three times on the course of 8 years - u do mean visiting, right?)
131. Para sailed.
132. Petted a cockroach. (I raise one eybrow for that one!)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes.
134. Read The Iliad. (Parts of it)
135. Selected one “important” author who I missed in school, and read.
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. (again one eyebrow! Where the heck to u get this stuff!)
137. Skipped all my school reunions. (There aren't any aslan!)
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language. (Hehe ... in India, yes)
139. Been elected to public office.
140. Written my own computer language.
141. Thought to myself that I’m living my dream.
142. Had to put someone I love into hospice care.
143. Built my own PC from parts.
144. Sold my own artwork to someone who didn’t know me.
145. Had a booth at a street fair.
146: Dyed my hair.
147: Been a DJ. (wished i have)
148: Shaved my head.
149: Caused a car accident.
150: Saved someone’s life.

Life is as simple as saying: "Hello"!

مكالمة

سلامو عليكم

وعليكم السلام

ثم مرت لحظة

لحظة واحدة

تمتد ما بين الخلق والعدم

انخلع فيها قلبى وارتد إليه ألف مرة

يرتد بقوة تئن منها أضلعى ألماً

فأضع يدى على صدرى كما لو كنت احاول منعه من الهروب مرة أخرى

ترتعش أوصالى ويتفصد العرق من كفى فيكاد الهاتف ان ينزلق من بدى

أتشبث به بقوة واتمتم بكلمات لا أكاد أفقهها

فيرد مغمغماً برد يخرج من فم يرتعش ركنه بطريقة اتذكرها جيداً

اشتقت إليها

إشتقت إليك

اسمعها تدوى بين جنبات عقلى

فأقيدها جيداً كى لا تفلت عبر فمى

إشتقت إليك

أخنقها

أقتلها

فتلفظ أنفاسها فى حضن شفتى

أبحث عن صوتى فلا أجده

لعنة الله عليهم

لماذا تركنى الجميع لأواجهه وحدى؟

يأتينى صوته

بعيداً

ضعيفاً

مرتعش

فلا أجد رداً سوى حشرجة متألمة

متشكر قوى

العفو ... على إيه؟

F*A*I*T*H

You see, the problem with faith is this: i can use every mental argument to convince you, but i can never EVER give you even a glimpse of
wut faith is about ... because unlike conviction, which is a result of mere reasoning, faith is something which is simply thrown into your
heart. when it does, it is as if light is shinning through you and reflecting on all your surroundings. That light, is never meant to be
maintained, it'll soon fade away ... may be because whenever faith does fall into one's heart, it should be translated into action ... this action is simply doing everything you can in pursuit of that light you once had a glimpse of lest you can see it once more.

I AM LEGEND

"He had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate... literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people's lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why - He said, "The people, who were trying to make this world worse... are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness."

[ Neville talking to Anna about Bob Marley]

!عصر الرومانسية انهزم يا مييييينننزززز

The following is a dialogue that took place on the messenger a few days ago between me and Balaha Sousou ... it's in anglo-arab and i prefered to keep it as it is to match reality ... You'd ask me "why on earth should anyone be intrested in a conversation between two strangers to me?", and i'd simply say "You shouldn't" ;)
If you'd decided to go on reading, as it appears since u've reached this current line, lemme tell you it all started by a simple question:

Why are we not a romantic generation?
we are
Nope, we are not
We are
We r NOT
howa not not ya3ni? 3afya heya! ya3ni kameli kalamek tayeb
Look, asl last night i was watching Audrey Hepburn story … then this morning i went into the taxi and there was this song playing 4 Fairuz ... "bektob esmak ya 7abeby" ... mesh 3arfa ... fee 7aga ghalat 7asalet ma ben el zaman da w zamana … fee akeed 7agat keteeeeeeeeer na2sa … mafeesh emotions … mafeesh true feeling of love
ya reit ma tekalemni 3al 7ob … w seeret el 7ob … w zolm el 7ob le kol as7abo
LOOOOOOOOOL … bas begad … mesh keda? walla byethaya2ly?
ya 7abibet albi i tried love … and i know what it is … it is every single word fairuz said … and om kalsum said … and abdel halim said
Ah ... neseet a2olek enny Khatamt el leila with "in love and war" beta3 Sandra Bullock ... ya3ny totally fel mood da!
But the issue is intelligence
Nope … the issue is e7sas … mafeesh e7sas!
fi nass bet7esss … sada2ini … but what's next?
Tell me meen fel zaman el menayel da bey7ess? maho law kan bey7ess makanetsh ba2et moshkela ... makansh fee kol el breakups wel divorces etc. elly shayfenha dee
3arfa eh el far2?
zaman, kan etnen bey7ebbo ba3d w yet7addo el 3alam kollo ... NOW, etnen bey7ebbo ba3d w byet7addo bardo ba3d!
mafeesh theka ... mafeesh "giving ur heart away" ... mafeesh belief en "love will set u free" ... kol da kalam seems so ridiculus today … FAHMANNNNNY??
Fahmaki … bass min et7adda el 3alam kolo la mo2akhza?? la mo2khza ya3ni? romeo w juliette? … kiss w laila?
Nope … mesh lazem … heya mesh fairy tales ya3ny
they love love love and then it comes marriage!
shoffy elly katab el kesas dee kan e7saso nafso eh?
kan 7abb wala talshi! eh ya3ni
delwa2ty love, take take take and then run away
tab3an … not coz of love … coz of cowards who fall in love
Apparently keda yeb2a da a cowards generation of men!
It’s true … and mesh kolohm men kaman
LOL … true!
Let’s define romance … what is romance?
For me? ... Being able to feel and express emotions of love and beauty
Generally speaking … romance … beta3 el 3asr el romancy
atlakoo haza el esm 3ala 3asr men 3osooor fi europa, wa le maza otlek, wa maza antag? otlek 7asiso ana gama3a men el nass discovered love and beauty, they had dreams and visions about a beautiful world … romanticism is dreaming and making dreams come true … so they dreamt about love,so created romance poetry and literature … dreamt about freedom … made revolutions … dreamt about loyalty, justice … all those ideas are romance … all those divine thoughts that are not applied on earth, if u made them true ,then u r a romantic person
el 3emara kaman fel zaman da kanet 7aga tania .. They did building, paintings kolo kolo with pure art kol 7aga asba7et to7fa faneya and they lived it practiced it … compare ba2a now... Who can practice romanticism? Is there any freedom? Any justice, any love any where?
It’s WE who create love, WE who create art, WE who create beauty … it comes from within … correction: It SHOULD come from within … bas fee 7aga ghalat … we DO NOT …We don't have taste anymore … taste for art, taste for beauty, taste for poetry, taste for literature
It’s not exactly Taste what's missing here … We’re not free … We miss freedom Free minds, free hearts, and free people … Commercials beyta7kem fi kolo … na7no 3abid AL MADDA … Still u can find ppl who can taste good stuff,,,,but very few coz of majority men na7ya ,coz of the need men na7ya,,i mean ,some ppl suffer to live their day to day love
WHO ARE WE to talk about suffering day to day … We live a luxurious life … We have almost everything we need, Yet we cannot feel free bardo, yet we look for smthg we cannot have
and because of this lausy pursuit of "smthg." we miss the beauty around
maaaaaaaaaaaaaashi 3andek 7a2 … netkalem 3an nafsena ba2a …i tried to dream and making my dream a reality and failed coz was partially dreaming alone
sa7 … 3ashan dreams SHOULD be ur own … and if u find smone to share ur dreams that would be the miracle
la2 … disagree … w can dream together … not a miracle
sa3b … nerga3 lel mawdo3 el awalany : COWARDS .... SLAVES TO BAD TASTE
estani bass … they are ready to share ur dream … but not ready to persist ,to create a reality ,to give & take ,to struggle … i won't make ur dream and u won't make mine,,,u have urs enjoy it and i have mine … does this makes any sense? la2 tab3an,,,,it is be kol basata that he cannot do any thing BUT dreaming … zaman ba2a kan masalan wa7ed ye7lam bel 7oreya, yekteb lel nass, nass te7lam bel 7oreya ma3ah, ye3melo 7aga tomasel a7lamhom, yet2abloo yena2shoo a7lamhom, ye7a2a2ooha, 7ata law et7arbo, 7ata law el 7oreya magatsh besor3a
laken geh mara 7ad w 2al ana 3ayez a7lam bel 7oreya lewa7di?? w gom nass yesharkoo ,sharekhom fel awel w ba3d keda 2al ana a2adar a72a2aha lewa7di mesh 3ayzkoo fi 7aga?? ah 7asal w sa3etha betnhar el afkar el romanceya
laken be sabab enohom ma 7a2a2oohash ,mesh enaha ghir yomken ta7kikha.
tab dah yeb2a ma3nah en el moshkela 3andena fel BELIEF .... having FAITH in wut we do and wut we dream of .... coz obviously, ppl now give up too soon
aiwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan … give up tooooooooooooo sooooon … toooooooooooooooooooo soooooooooon … kol wa7ed ro7o fi manakhiro ya okhtchi
bas this changes everything ... this changes even my view of life
this means en moshkeletna ab3ad mn moshkelet economy aw politics aw even akhla2 and deen!!!
e7na delwa2ty benetkalem fel falsafa ya 7ayati ... w akid el falsafa ab3ad men kol el 3elooom di
moshkelet sykologeyet geel faked el kodra 3ala el eman b 2ay shey2 ... w katar kher el donia enno believe in God in the 1st place!
i was reading new novel for P. Coelho last night
DO WE REALLY BELIEVE IN ALLAH?? !! i don't think so 7ata
Wait, mana gayalek aho … esmaha "The fifth mountain", it tells story of Elijah ... one of the prophets of Israel Before Christ … it takes place in Phoenicia (Lebanon now) at the time of etehad ... he was hiding with a Levant (wa7ed shami) lest they get killed and while hearing the screams of other prophets and God worshipers getting slaughtered if they don't obey the king and convert to worshipping Baal the Phoenician God ... they went on talking to keep themselves calm. First, each of them was thinking whether he should keep his faith and die on God's word, or convert and keep his life but lose his faith. Elijah began asking questions like "How come God is all powerful while he lets his followers be killed in such terrible ways"
he began to sound doubtful and the other man, who originally was thinking of converting, kept assuring him and strengthening his faith ... he made up his mind he's going to die on his faith
they took each others hand and decided to face their death instead of waiting for it, so they went out hand in hand and walked in the streets like any normal day.
i stopped reading here, but it made me wonder ... at time like this, when worshippers are prosecuted and hunt down round every rock ... would i keep my faith? would you? would ppl around me do? and i found the answer is: probably not … coz we don't really have enough FAITH … we don't even think about it enough
Very TRUE
If we think enough about Faith we we'd care more about the message than the messenger (not the prophet, but whoever delivers the message ... we'd deploy a critical thinking on wutever we hear whoever we hear it from)
If we think enough about Faith, we'd also care more about the message than the ppl we carry it to ... we'd care about keeping our own faith than judging that of others
al mo2men KAyesson Faten … w da lel mo2menin … keeep on tracking 7al el mo2men fel coran … totally diffeerent of ppl w see and know … read soret al mo2menon " belivers " … min doool?!!! fin doool? very few … Thollaton men al awalin … wa kalilon men al akherin!

- The End -

فى الشارع

:مشهد واحد

سيارتين تقفان متواجهتان فى شارع جانبى ضيق باحد المناطق الراقية من مصر الجديدة ... السيارة الأولى تقودها فتاة فى النصف الثانى من العشرينات والثانية يقودها رجل تخطى الأربعين من عمره ... المشهد يبدو كمشهد ثابت حيث يرفض كلاهما التحرك لمدة لا تقل عن ثلاثة دقائق ... وبغض النظر عن العرف السائد والقانون الطبيعى والتفكير المنطقى الذى يقول ان للسيارة التى عبرت أكثر من منتصف طول الشارع الحق فى المرور طالما ان الشارع ذو اتجاهين – مما يجبر الرجل فى هذه الحالة على التراجع وافساح الطريق أمام الفتاة التى بالمناسبة كانت قد أعطته اشارات ضوئية متواصلات لحثه على الانتظار وعدم دخول الشارع من أساسه حتى تتمكن من المرور – الا ان منطق الرجل ذاته هو ما يثير العجب ... فهو يريدها ان تتراجع لانه ببساطة يريد ان يقوم بركن السيارة أمام منزله – وهى فيللا بالمناسبة - المتواجد بنفس الشارع – وكانت الفتاة قد تخطته من البداية ورغم ذلك فهو يتوقع ان من حقه الطبيعى ان تتراجع هى حتى يركن هو ثم تمر هى كما تشاء

:المشهد الثانى

سيارة نقل تقطع الطريق بالعرض أمام مينى باص معترضة تماماً شارع أحمد فخرى ومانعة مرور أى سيارة تماماً لمدة تزيد عن عشر دقائق هى المدة التى قضاها سائق النقل فى الشجار مع سائق المينى باص ... ولا يهم هنا ما سبب المشكلة أو من المخطىء ... كما لا يهم من ينتظر ومن تأخر عن عمله ومن يريد الدخول الى المستشفى التى تقع على بعد أمتار ومدخلها مسدود تماماً بسبب السيارات المتوقفة أو من كان حظه العاثر ان احتاج الى سيارة إسعاف حالاً ... فالمهم هو "حقى وحقك" – ده بالنسبة للسائقين الاثنين طبعا وليس حق أى مواطن آخر

الملاحظ من المشهدين انه على ما يبدو هناك مرض مستشرى فى المجتمع المصرى بغض النظر عن طبقاته – لاحظ ان المشهد الأول بطله أحد موسرى مصر الجديدة والثانى بطليه سائقى سيارات نقل ... هذا المرض اسمه "المركزية الذاتية" * وهى ان لا يرى الانسان سوى نفسه بكل ما تمثلها من رغبات واحتياجات فقط لا غير ... فمجال رؤيته لا يتعدى عينيه نفسها ... الأول لم ير سوى رغبته فى الركن أمام منزله رغم انه لو انتظر ثانية واحدة لكان وصل الى منزله دون ان يسبب اى متاعب لنفسه ولا للآخرين
والثانى لم يرى سوى رغبته فى الانتقام من الأخر ايا كان ما سببه هذا الآخر وهو فى ذلك اعتبر نفسه المتحكم الأول والأخير فى هذا الشارع بل وفى مصائر جميع السائرين فيه ... فلا أحد يمكنه العبور الا اذا تفضل هو وسمح له بالعبور!

* self centricity

INDIA - MOTHER OF ALL WONDERS

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