A depression Outlet - personal crab ... no need to bother the reader!
I don't know y i'm having sudden feelings of depression in the past 2 weeks ...
May be coz i'm not having any fun at all!I lookat my life and i'm just chasing every second, from work to training to work to the lesson to work again ...!
A friend calls me "workaholic" .. and i guess i am .. i love my work, true, but i think i'm also considering it as a good treatment for loneliness.
I even refused to take one day off for eid when i actually could because i can't see any difference .. eid or not! My family won't go anywhere in eid .. they might not even meet ... and even if they met ... i usually don't enjoy the materialistic speech on the sound of screaming kids that fill in every inch of the place! i just get irritated when i'm in a small place with too many breathing creatures!
My friends? well! this is another story ... i've hardly been with them for months ... except in rare occasions ... and with one gone to the states, one to Kuwait, one gone to emarites and the rest either married, prgnant or to consumed with wrk (like myself) ... it seems everyone has drifted with life in a different direction! Even when we DO meet sometimes, there's always smthg. i'm in a hurry for or my mind is too occupied with smthg other than enjoying the moments! The last time that i remember i had real fun was when we were preparing for the summer party last May n June!
I've always held much value for my friends .. they r all i have ... with the wide gab between me n my parents that gets wider n wider everyday and the added fact that i'm a single child ... ! I think this family-gab status only occurs with teenagers .. may be i'm a teenager still! But the point is, we simply have NOTHING in common ... not the least thing ... so they have their life and i have mine ... ! I like to watch movies, my mom only watches talk shows, my father likes drama ... can you imagine how difficult it is to decide who'll held the remote control? hehehe ... We even have to buy THREE DIFFERENT types of cheese to satisfy our different tastes for Allah's sake!!!! how big can that gab be?
However, someone once told me "u might not wanna get married now coz ur enjoying ur life now .. with friends and outings and fun ... but all that will not last ...you should have someone to share ur life!" ... now i'm giving this a second thought ... lonliness can hit you faster than you know it! :(
4 comments:
Hey, I am insulted! Big time! Last time of having fun was in June?
Subhannallah! You forgot those days you had three great backseats and we were rolling on the floor laughing?
You forgot the movie outings? Losing my wallet? Getting lost in any place we went to? The food at the halaqa? The arguing and making up? The hadana in E.?
Having fun is not about going out, it is being with people you love and having a good time!
OOOOHHHH Inkieeeeeeeee :D
Ik ben slecht! heel slecht!
How cld i forget all that?!! :p
Thanks for reminding me of a few more good memories!
Really, those days of backseating were one of the best i had in E. ... and of course the hadana ;)
Yeah, I guess that's what depressed is all about; forgetting about the blessings and good things you have. So, you'd better cherish me as long as I am here :P.
In Holland we say something to motivate others to do something, to think positive. It is actually more a joke but you can try it anyways (you have to scream it very loud): TSJAKKAAAAAAAAAAA
Inky
I say -> panamana
U say -> tutu tududu
are all dutch ppl like that?
- i don't meen stingy nor gek :P
But your love for life and self-awareness really inspires me :-D
Alright then:
TSJAKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(left - right) did anybody hear that?!
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